Passive vs Active

As any grown up girl knows, there's a time for passive and a time for active. Each has its own pleasures and responsibilities.

In the world of relationships, someone has to have something being done to them--that's passive and the someone is the object of the action. Another has to be the one doing the action--that's the active.

Why do we have both active and passive if active is supposed to be so desirable? Because, as any grown up girl knows, all active makes for a very tired girl and is only half the fun.

Active makes the story accelerate and increases the pace. The pace is the speed of reading and comprehending. Passive makes the story decelerate and slows the pace. As the pace slows and the speed of the reading relaxes so does the brain. This slowdown allows a more contemplative feeling in the story. According to theory, optimum reading has a split in the percentages of each. Word, a program often used by writers, will keep track of this for you. All you have to do is turn on that option. The split in percentage is kept as part of the readability of an particular piece of writing. Readability is also used to determine the optimum reading level of a piece of writing for a particular audience. Readability statistics can be checked on a sentence, paragraph, or any size piece of writing.

How do you know if a writer has overdone the active portion of a story? Because you, as the reader, feel mentally breathless as if you've been running. Think back. Have you experienced that in your pleasure reading or your own editing? Think about slowing down. Let portions of the story be savored. Pacify our passion for passive.


Here's a bit of mixed. Think about what the writer intended the reader to feel.

A small whisper of sound came from the underbrush behind him.

She had followed him!

A line on his control snapped.

He swore a string of words containing all of the wild frustration he held. Sparkles danced before his eyes as he ran out of breath. He knew leaders weren’t supposed to harm the ones they led, but he could see how they could be driven to it. What kind of leader was he to get himself in this position?

He focused furiously on the puny scuff mark he’d made on the tree—determined to contain himself completely before he turned around. He knew she was behind him…keeping him in sight. He felt a heated ache blooming up the back of his neck and head to match the pounding in his temples. He was going to have to….

7 comments:

Penny Rader said...

You crack me up, Nina. Love as any grown up girl knows. :D That sounds like a great idea for a post, especially for those of us who are grown up, but wonder what we don't know. ;D

I totally forgot about being able to find out readability in Word. I'll have to check that out.

Thanks for sharing.

Starla Kaye said...

I still have trouble seeing myself as a "grown up girl." I still haven't exactly decided what I want to do with my life. Getting kind of late, I know.

Anyway, great post on the "passive vs active" issue. And, I agree, that there needs to be a mixture.

Starla Kaye said...

I still have trouble seeing myself as a "grown up girl." I still haven't exactly decided what I want to do with my life. Getting kind of late, I know.

Anyway, great post on the "passive vs active" issue. And, I agree, that there needs to be a mixture.

Nina Sipes said...

Penny,
Glad to have lightened your day. It bugs me sometimes how often new writers are told to take out all passive verbs, like 'was' and all adverbs ending in 'ly' as they supposedly dull the story down. As a reader, I appreciate changes in the pacing. I like for things to slow down into despair....

Poor characters--stuck by ly's and was's.

Nina Sipes said...

Penny,
Glad to have lightened your day. It bugs me sometimes how often new writers are told to take out all passive verbs, like 'was' and all adverbs ending in 'ly' as they supposedly dull the story down. As a reader, I appreciate changes in the pacing. I like for things to slow down into despair....

Poor characters--stuck by ly's and was's.

Nina Sipes said...

Ah Starla, you may not feel as if you're a grown up girl, but your writing sure reads like you is.

Nina Sipes said...

Penny,
I rely heavily on the readability info for a lot of projects--especially children's stories.