WARA's Mini-Retreat (Rox Delaney)

Due to the craziness of life, I missed writing my blog post earlier this month.  It happens to all of us.  We all have lives that are woven with have-to's and need-to's, and some things get missed in the process of day-to-day living.

If you look to the left, you'll see a photo of a group of women.  They're smiling.  Why?  The photo was taken at WARA's Fall Mini-Retreat, held last Saturday.

I can't remember a time when I didn't enjoy one of WARA's weekend retreats or mini-retreats.  If I had to count how many I've attended, I wouldn't get it right.  I've been a member of WARA for most of the past 17 years.  Although there have been a few times we've had to skip having a retreat, there have been many.  For me, they're a must-not-miss.

Retreats, whether over a weekend or only just a day, are a kick-in-the-backside.  A good kick-in-the-backside!  Not only is it a chance to hear where others are with their writing, but a time to Talk Writing.  Those who aren't writers have difficulty understanding people who hear voices in their heads.  Those who do write take it for granted and understand that if you aren't hearing those voices or seeing a scene played out in your head, something needs to be done.

It doesn't take much to hit a roadblock in a story.  Sometimes a character decides to make decisions or do something the writer never planned.  Or sometimes we discover we've written ourselves into a corner and don't know how to get out of it.  Talking with others who understand story structure or conflict or goals or motivation are a godsend.  Even many non-writers, but voracious readers can only help so much.  Writers are a writer's best friend.

Not only are those of us in WARA writer friends, we're also friends who write.  Add to it that we have families and the usual activities and difficulties that women (and men) face in the "normal" world, and strong friendships are often made.  I have writer friends, within WARA and without, and friends who've never written and don't have a clue what it takes to create fictional people and stories.  I value all of them.

So what did we do at the retreat?  We brainstormed, we offered suggestions, shared bits of information, had lunch and ATE CAKE that Reece baked and decorated. :)  We came away with possible answers to questions and the good feeling of having spent a day with friends.  Retreats help fill the well.  Who could ask for more?

As for WARA, itself, we've outgrown some things and are adding new.  We're looking forward to making our group better and stronger as we continue to make new friends and and meet with long-time friends.  Our retreats help with that and our writing.

Start BIC-HOKing, ladies!  Pat and I each have a whip. ;)

My Favorite Things (cue Julie Andrews)

My grandkids look at me as if I've lost my mind when I tell them to take care of their books, because books are their friends.  For me, growing up as an only child, books were my friends, especially when all the other kids were busy with something else.  Books opened up the world around me, whether fiction or non-fiction or even encyclopedias.  Is it a wonder I started wearing glasses in second grade, after reading books by nightlight?

It was no accident in later years that when I had an answer or a problem that I would go out and search for self-help books.  From being a better person and uncluttering my house to pregnancy and child-raising and everything in between, I had a book on it.  So when I came to the point of deciding that I wanted to be a writer, it was books that I turned to.

I still have one bookshelf filled with writing how-to books that contains one book that actually put me on the road: You Can Write a Romance...and Get It Published! by Yvonne MacManus.  That's where I found information on Romance Writers of America and the date of an upcoming National Conference.  I joined immediately, rented a car, and purchased plane tickets...all in one day.  That day changed my life.

Although You Can Write a Romance... was the book that put me on the path to--well, not stardom, by any means, but learning and happiness and new friends and more--it was only the beginning.  I discovered Debra Dixon's Goal, Motivation & Conflict, boosting my writing skill to a new level.  I met and became friends with author Elizabeth Sinclair, who penned The Dreaded Synopsis (A Writing and Plotting Guide), and have nearly worn off the cover.  I've not only used it for writing a synopsis, but for plotting, too.  The one book that is always within arm's reach is The Synonym Finder by J.I. Rodale.  It's basically a thesaurus, but contains only synonyms, and is nearly three inches thick.  I'm on my third copy.  The first two copies were only well-worn, but worn out.

But the best thing about all of this is not the books, but the people I've met along the journey.  There are my WARA friends and the Ditzy Chix, a group of 10-12 authors that came together in the summer of 2001 to share the ups and downs of being writers.  My friend Kathie DeNosky has always been my guide and inspiration, keeping me from throwing in the towel, many times.  In fact, we became best of friends at that first RWA conference in 1996 in Dallas, Texas.  We still laugh about the day the lightbulb lit over our heads when we realized at the same time what the difference was between Harlequin Temptation and Silhouette (now Harlequin) Desire.  The other who makes up our triad of craziness is Kristi Gold, who makes me laugh and makes me think.  Listening to one of our three-way phone calls as we brainstorm would leave most people dazed and confused.  But even with the three of us talking at once, we understand and help each other, whether it's brainstorming or sharing the trials and joys of life.

So that's it.  Books, books, and friends, none of which I could live without and am eternally grateful to each and every one.  Without them, I'd be sitting in a corner, gibbering senseless stories to myself.  Now I get to share that gibbering with many, many more.  What could be better?

Play Time!

What do you do to refill the well?  If you don't, why not?

Writing is just like any other relationship.  If you give and give and give eventually you are going to dry up and have nothing left.  Good books will not be written when you are all dried up.  Words won't flow without a full creative well.  

Whatever we are pulling from inside us that is flowing to the page when we write has to be refilled in order to keep our writer's mind juicy and plump with all those words oozing from us and onto our pages. 

Our writing relationship is usually something very private.  No one is going to refill that well for us. One of the things we have to do to keep from drying up is give ourselves permission to play.  With deadlines and the pressures that surround a lot of writers, it's easy to feel guilty over any time we take just for ourselves.  It's important to remember when guilt rears its ugly head, if we don't take that time we will eventually dry up.  That part of us that makes our writing different from everyone else out there will turn to crusty dry desert filled with prickly cacti and rocks. 

Writers have to take time to PLAY.  Have fun, do things that bring you to life and excite you. 

Play can be many things.  Take time to watch a movie, read a book, listen to some music or maybe go on a walk and clear your mind.  Maybe play for you is really playing something.  There is nothing wrong with a little Angry Birds or Solitaire.  All work and no play do not make for a creative, inspired and productive writer.  All play and no work, however, do not make for a writer at all.  Take the time you need to refill, but don't drown in your well and forget to get back to the writing.

There is a fine line, but play time can refill us, refuel us and get our minds back in a place where our writing can come from a juicy place within again.  What have you done to play today?