Solving the Mystery of the Male POV

The first part of my series on POV covered the basics of Point of View. If you missed it, you can find it here. The second part covered Deep POV, which you can find here.

Today we'll explore that deep, dark, often scary area known as the Male POV. No, that’s not the Male Power of Veto (you’ll find that on CBS’ show Big Brother). Instead, we’ll look at writing the Male Point of View, which may not be all that easy since most writers of romance are women. Here are a few links and snippets of articles I found online that I hope you'll find helpful and maybe a bit enlightening:

Anatomy of the Male Mind: Women Writing in the Male POV (Milton Grasle)

In my opinion, a woman would need to find out all she could about how men react to certain situations and explore the male process of reasoning. She might read what she considers to be accomplished men and women who write in male POV. I believe the biggest trap that a woman might fall into is… not remembering that most romance is not only written by women but read by women also.

Can Women Write from a Male POV? (Juanita McConnachie)

… you can edit your writing into a male POV. I think that with a little research, and a bit of help, I should be able to make my male POV, sound more... well... male. Keep in mind, I am not writing for a male audience (specifically). Nevertheless, an authentic male 'tone' is necessary for these chapters.


Make POV Work for You: Writing the Male POV (Kaye Dacus)

But one of the most important things to know about men is that they say what they mean and mean what they say. They don’t mince words, they don’t beat around the bush, they don’t drop hints and hope someone else will catch on and understand what they’re not saying. Now that doesn’t mean that they say everything that’s on their mind—they can be very judicious with the words they choose to let loose, which gives lots of opportunity for subtexting. But he’s not only not going to try to wheedle and hint his way into something, he’s going to get extremely frustrated by a woman who does.

Male POV (Keri Arthur)

When I first told my husband I was doing an article on writing from a male point of view, he said, why bother? According to him, men are easy. There’s one layer, nothing fancy. What you see is what you get. What they say is what they mean. Unlike woman. He reckons we’re the ones that should come with a manual, and even then, he doubts if males will ever have a chance of understanding us.

Man Up: Writing Male POV (Roni Griffin)

(Note from Penny: Be sure to check out the illustration at the top of this blog post!)

I personally find male characters fun and almost easier to write than my female characters. But that may be because in life, I've always been more comfortable around guys (well, when it comes to being friends, once I was romantically interested in a guy, I turned into an awkward mess). So, I've spent a lot of time with groups of guy friends, have seen how they interact, and of course, I'm married to one, so that helps. :)


Virginia’s Guide to Guy-Speak (Virginia Kantra)

Critics have argued that the romance genre portrays men not as they are but as women wish they would be. … To illustrate how gender impacts characterization, point of view, action, and dialogue - okay, pretty much everything - I offer this guide to guy-speak.

Write Like a Man! (Anita Mae Draper)

Some things are the same for both genders, like wanting to be loved, safe, happy, respected, honored and successful.But as writers who want to write using a male point of view (POV), we need to observe and listen to males in action.

Note from Penny: Wanna chuckle? Check out this video, Men’s Brains vs Women’s Brains

Writing from a Male Point of View (L. Diane Wolfe)

I read dozens of relationship books, seeking to comprehend the distinct qualities of the male gender. The books that provided me with the most insight were Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus and the Connecting With Your Husband/Wife series. Men and women really do view the world through different eyes!

Writing the Male from the Female Sensibility (Marnee)

(Note from Penny: Be sure to read the comments following the post!)

So I tried to apply what I know of men in an observational capacity. No overtalking. Check. Not as skilled at communicating as a woman, at least as a general. Check. A fix-it mentality about everything from broken toasters to complex life issues. Check.

That’s probably a pretty good start. But then I have to worry about getting said “male characterization” across for a generally female audience. Because in a romance, we don’t want the average beer-swilling, thinking-about-sex guy. We want the Prince Charmings. Believable Prince Charmings.

What we have is the complexity of writing the male character to appeal to the female fantasy. No easy task indeed.

~~~

In your own work, do you write in the male POV? Have any tips to share? Do you like to read stories featuring the male POV?

If you’re a guy and you’re reading this blog, do you have anything extra to share? Any opinions on the links I’ve shared?

Going Deep...Deep POV, That Is (Penny Rader)

The first part of my series on POV covered the basics of Point of View. If you missed it, you can find it here. Today we'll explore Deep POV using links and snippets of articles I found online.


Deep Point of View (Camy Tang)

Camy has an excellent eleven-part series on Deep POV. Don’t panic. Each part is short and easy to digest. You can find links to the next part at the end of each article. Here are short bits from the first three:

Part One

It’s not that it’s wrong to name the emotion—in fact, sometimes it makes the sentence more powerful—but many times, when you rewrite the sentence without naming the emotion, the vision evoked in the reader’s mind is more emotionally impactful.

Part Two

“Telling” verbs tend to distance the reader from the character, and if you’re striving to stick the reader in the character’s skin, you want to be judicious with your words and ensure a tight point of view.

Part Three

Show immediate emotional reactions in physical, thought, dialogue, action.

Deep Point of View (Karen Kelley)

Picture this: You’re not writing about the character, you’ve now become the character. Say your heroine is running down a dark hallway, she knows a serial killer is after her. Instead of moving her down the hallway become your heroine. What do you see? Close your eyes for a moment and visualize it. Do you see the hallway? What are you feeling? Fear? Yes, but describe it. Is your heart pounding? Are you sweating? What emotions are going through you? As the heroine, what will you leave behind if the killer catches you?

Deep Point of View: Using It Effectively (Keelia Greer)

When using deep penetration POV you see the scene through the character's eyes. You never leave his/her thoughts. Deep penetration is similar to first person giving the motivation behind an action. The character's attitude, at that moment is shown, not a memory of his/her feelings as they look back on what happened.

Deep POV (Wendy Marcus)

Deep POV … takes you deep inside your character, showing not only what he feels in response to a situation, but why he feels that way. It adds a depth of emotion to a scene. In order to achieve deep POV a writer must dig deep into their characters' personalities and motivations.

Deep POV, Anybody? (Joylene Nowell Butler)

Choosing the right point of view is like learning to ride a bicycle; once you learn, you never forget. Too many good writers struggle over POV because they make it more complicated than it needs to be. In simplest terms, it’s about first learning what choices you have, then trusting your instincts in choosing the right one for your story. Deep POV is just one more choice.

Deep POV Is Not Right for Every Story (Alicia Rasley)

Deep POV is a variety of single POV, where an entire scene (or chapter, or book) is told through the perspective (or point of view) of one of the characters in the scene. Deep POV takes this further—the narration is done not just in the perspective but in the voice of the POV character. It’s meant to establish almost no distance between the narrator and the reader—rather like a first-person feel with third-person pronouns.

…you shouldn’t feel you have to force yourself to write deep POV if every word feels wrong.

Deep POV Means (Angi Morgan)

People think in specifics. Letting characters think in specifics brings us closer to that character and WHY they’re thinking what they’re thinking at that exact moment. When you’re deep in a character’s POV, that character doesn’t keep secrets from himself (a Suzanne Brockmann tip).

Digging Deep and Writing Backstory, While Keeping Up the Pace (Karin Harlow)

When writing in your character’s deep POV, you have to dig into their past. To the events that shaped them, the things that angered them, made them love, made them hate and made them smile. As their storyteller, you have to be them, and convey their thoughts, actions and most importantly, their emotions to the page.

The Importance of Emotional Depth: Part 4 – Deep Point of View (Lisa Chaplin)

Deep POV is an art, because it's putting yourself so totally into the character you basically don't appear (and by this, I mean what is commonly known as "author intrusion"); it's all the character. What also disappears in deep POV to a great extent is "tags"—the "he said, she thought/ pondered/ wondered" that jerk readers out of the character's head, reminding them that they are not the hero or heroine—and that's what we, as writers, don't want!

Note from Penny: I highly recommend Lisa’s entire series of articles on Emotional Depth. http://www.melissajames.net/Article_Main.htm

Some Deep Point of View Tips (Camy Tang)

Readers don’t fully feel the emotion when they simply read the words anxiety, anger, fear, etc.They feel the emotion when they’re in the character’s body and head, feeling the physical sensations, acting with the character, thinking their thoughts, speaking their words.

~~

What are your feelings about Deep POV?

What the Heck IS Point of View Anyway? (Penny Rader)

When I first began writing I had never heard of POV (point of view), so I suppose it's not surprising that I received many comments about POV from contest judges. Including those telling me to get out of my dog's POV. :D

I poked around online and found a wealth of information covering all aspects of POV. I hope you don't mind that I'm sharing the links with you as well as snippets from the articles that I hope will tempt you to click and read.

Basic Point of View (Cami Tang)
Cami has a fabulous series about Basic Point of View, which begins here.

Emotion is Physical (Alicia Rasley)

I want to discuss how using the action/perception levels of point of view, rather than the thinking and emotion levels, can actually let the readers FEEL the feeling, by putting them into the physical experience of emotion.

Establishing the Right Point of View: How to Avoid "Stepping Out of Character" (by Marg Gilks)

Every scene should have only one POV character, and everything must be filtered through that POV character's perceptions. Only the POV character can know what he or she is thinking -- he can't know what anyone else is thinking, so the reader can't, either. The POV character can't see what's going on behind her or what the person on the other end of the phone line is doing while they are talking, so the reader can't know what's going on in those places, either. Keep that in mind -- stay firmly inside your POV character's head -- and you'll rarely have trouble with point of view.

An Explanation of Point of View (Emily Hanlon)

One of the best ways to experience the power of point of view is to write an emotionally strong scene between two people who, when they tell their story, have very different versions of the experience.

First Person (Keri Arthur)

In first person writing, you need a character with a really strong voice, so distinctive that the reader will know you couldn’t tell the story any other way. Attitude is what first-person is all about. The first-person narrator can be sassy or angry or contemplative or ironic or even insane. But they can NEVER be boring. The narrative has to interesting and it has to reflect the narrator’s attitudes and personality.

How to Avoid Viewpoint Slips (Marg McAlister)

ANGER. In deep POV: your chest feels as though it might burst with fury; you breathe in short gasps; you want to punch or hurt someone; you feel like bursting into tears of rage; you feel the blood rush to your head. The onlooker sees: eyes glaring; a red face; lips thinning, words uttered in haste or a shout; a punch being thrown, objects being tossed aside; an aggressive stance (hands on hips).”

How to Write a Romance Novel – POV (Gabi Stevens)

In the course of writing you will also hear the term “head-hopping.” Head hopping is jumping from one character’s POV into another’s at a rapid pace. Most readers don’t know enough about POV to realize when it happens, but they might feel some dissatisfaction with a scene or a book because of it. They won’t feel as drawn to the characters; this is because they haven’t had a chance to live in the character’s head for long enough to identify with him or her. Staying in one character’s POV gives the reader the chance to know and understand the hero or heroine.

Narrowing in Your Point of View (Alicia Rasley)

You can add texture and intensity, not to mention character dimension, to a scene by focusing tightly on the internal and sensory experience of the point of view character. You’ll want to experiment, because different situations call for different approaches.

One requirement of more personal POV is to think about those perceptions that a person actually there in the scene would have.

Point of View (Lisa Binion)

Point of view (POV) is whose eyes the story is told through. There are four different POVs - first person, second person, third person, omniscient.

No matter what your story is about, realize that which point of view you choose to write in determines how your story will be told.

Point of View (Annie Grace)

POV is all about knowing and not knowing. Readers gain an intimacy with a POV character, an understanding not only of what they are seeing and thinking, but also how they are feeling. They learn most about the POV character and if it's done well, they'll bond emotionally with the character. When you can see what a person's doing and hear what they're saying but you don't know what they're thinking -- this creates a tension.

It is like light and shadow in a painting. The light reveals: in the shadows lie the mysteries. Use POV to reveal some aspects of character and also to hint at mystery.

POV: Rules of Thumb (Nan Jacobs)

The dramatic effect of a scene is heightened if experienced through the viewpoint of the character with the most at stake. Consider your characters' goals, motivations, and conflicts to determine who has more to win or lose. If a scene plays out flat, try changing the viewpoint character.

Point of View -- Whose Story Is This? (Kaye Dacus)

How do we decide whose story it is?
Determine who the stakeholders in the story are
Who has the most to learn/the most potential for growth?
Which characters are most compelling?

POV Advantages and Pitfalls (Roni Griffin)

When I started my first novel, I didn’t give POV much thought. I was going to write in first person. Why? I dunno…seemed obvious. I wanted my readers to feel close to my character. And that’s the best way to do it, right?

Well, maybe, but not necessarily. First person came with a lot of restrictions and forced me to tell the story from one character’s perspective. So making sure she “saw” everything that needed to be seen was a challenge. At the time, I didn’t even realize I had another option at my disposal.

POV: Yours, Mine, His, Hers (Janet Corcoran)

Point of view is the foundation of your novel, how your imaginative story is told to the reader. It can keep your ideas focused or, if used incorrectly, can clutter and confuse the plotline, pacing, and goals. If you want the reader to actively take part in your story, you need to give POV your undivided attention.

Who’s on First? (Alison Kent)

I do not care how lyrical an author's prose, how taut the suspense, how intense the dramatic moments, how hot the sex, if she changes viewpoint within a scene she loses me. If she head-hops, she loses me. If she throws in a line of omniscient narrative, she loses me. All because of the way I read. Oh, sure. I can go back, pick up where I lost my train of thought, and rejoin the story already in progress. I can even thoroughly enjoy the story. But I will never regain the same relationship I had with these characters. From that moment on, I will notice and subconsciously bookmark every viewpoint change. Nothing the author does will prevent this from happening, no matter her skill, her sales records, her reviews. This is the nature of my thought process.

~~~

What do you think? Find anything helpful? Want to share any tips?

I hope you'll come back on August 26 for Deep POV and on August 31 for Male POV.

POV and More (Rox Delaney)

This is the third start I've made on this blog post, not sure exactly what I want to blog about today.  POV is actually our 'topic for the month,' but we don't always stick to the topic.  Hey, we're individuals!

If you're struggling with POV, Joan Vincent has two fantastic blog posts on the subject that can put you on the path to understand.  Check them out!

Recently I've been reading YA novels.  Why?  Well, writing for middle readers (ages 10-12) and young adults is where I began my journey.  My oldest daughter, who is still a voracious reader, was inhaling Babysitters Club books at the time, and I decided I wanted to give it a try.  But instead of sticking with Babysitters Club type books, I searched for other books and authors.  I found some fantastic ones.  Mary Downing Hahn (who I actually met!), Cynthia Voigt, Norma Fox Mazer, Paula Danziger, Lois Duncan, Louis Sachar, and Jerry Spinelli (who I also met).  And that's a partial list, which is growing, now that I've begun reading YAs again.  I already have a favorite new author and am reading my way through her list.

So what does all that have to do with POV?  Books for children and teens are written primarily in one POV.  Not all, just the majority.  It's been quite a shift from romance to YA, but I'm enjoying this newest journey.  I can't think of once that I've wanted to know what one of the other characters is thinking or feeling, even when romance is involved.  If written well, I can guess.

Modern romance novels (especially series romance) also began with one POV--the heroine's.  We often had to wait until the end of the book for the hero's motivations and true emotions to be revealed.  Since that time, romance novels have evolved and now offer both the heroine's and hero's POV.  The hero has become a full and complete character, and we see him as we do the heroine, warts and all.  Suspense books often include brief glimpses into the villains POV.

Outside of romance, there are books that go into the POV of multiple characters.  These are usually books that have more than two main characters, each with their own POV.  Stephen King's The Stand is a popular example, where POV changes occur at chapter changes.  Because his characterization is so thorough and well done, with each character having his or her own distinct 'voice,' there's no question of who the new POV character is at the beginning of a new chapter.

If you're having problems understanding POV, there are tricks you can use to help.  Marking character POV with different color highlighters, as Joan did in her example, will help you see POV switches.  Another way is to write a scene in first person (I and my, instead of she and her), then change it to third person.  While reading published books, try being more aware of the POV of the characters.  Many authors switch characters only at a scene change and never within a scene, while others switch only by chapter.  Others, who have mastered POV switching, can do it within a scene, but most don't do it often.

It's fun to discover the likes and dislikes of other readers (and writers!)  So here are some questions:

In a romance novel, whose POV do you enjoy reading the most?  The hero's?  Or the heroine's? 

Which one do you enjoy writing the most?

POV Part 2 by Joan Vincent

Yesterday I asked you to highlight each switch in point of view. Below I have done just that. Below I’ll have some information about how to fix POV.

Red is for Eldridge, Green for Omniscient, Blue for Richard

Eldridge Blanchard blocked his cousin’s way when Richard turned from greeting his last guest.

First cousins and the same age, Dremore and Eldridge were at times mistaken for one another by those not familiar with the pair. They were tall and well formed with faces more square than long, with chiselled features. Both were blond though Richard’s thick mane curled at neck and forehead while Eldridge wore his swept back.

The old pile is in fine fettle this eve. Does you proud,” Eldridge drawled even though he knew as well as Richard that the ancient house, a dozen furlongs from the newer family mansion, was kept in good repair because of a codicil in the original baron’s will. “Still cowtowing to your mother’s whims I see,” he continued, certain the dowager had insisted the week of activities be held here. Having been raised with Richard after the death of his parents Eldridge had diligently ferreted out all of the family foibles and skeletons.

Richard, accustomed to his cousin’s cutting jabs, and eager to be on his way, merely nodded.

“I do hope she isn’t taking guests to visit the portrait. Could prove--well you know,” Eldridge finished with a smirk.

Hackles rising, Richard took a steadying breath. “’Haps you should have remained in London,” he said shortly and made to pass his cousin.

“Never think I meant to offend,” Eldridge drawled as he manoeuvred the baron so that his cousin’s back was to the chamber. “My apologies,” he offered. “The Haven and its grounds are truly beautiful this time of year.

“Do you recall my first summer here? Lud, what a time we had we had exploring this heap. Remember that day we removed the panel in the library?”

Those long ago days were better forgotten as far as Richard was concerned. The consequences of his cousin’s “little pranks” had usually fallen on him. Why has Eldridge trapped me in “conversation” this eve only to prattle nonsense? Dremore wondered. What does he want? He always wants something.

As Eldridge nattered on Dremore’s thoughts went on the guest he most wanted to see. Despite knowing Miss Stratton but a few days he missed the young woman’s company. Everything in his life brightened for having met her, even Heart Haven.

Miss Stratton. He unknowingly half smiled as he pictured her delicate oval face and extraordinary blue eyes. This eve I shall gain permission to use your given name. Dremore’s smile broadened. Daphne.

Would she wear her neat braid of rich brunette neatly coiled at the nape of her neck or adopt a more frivolous still for the party? A feathering of wayward curls about her face, golden highlights shimmering amidst the coffee brown tresses would prove irresistible. Such beautiful hair, Richard mentally mused not noticing Eldridge smirk at his inattention. Such kissable lips. I cannot regret that I dared more than kissing her hand when we strolled alone in the gardens yester day. Richard sighed.

POV affects the mood and the voice of the story. Each character’s POV brings its own freedom and limitations. You have to decide which POV makes it easier to develop your characters, which reveals the information you need to make known and which makes the story stronger or weaker. It often takes strategy and maneuvering to figure this out. The paramount point is to always be certain you are totally IN the POV you have chosen. Take the switch from Richard to Omniscient and then back to Richard in the last paragraph of the scene. The Omniscient POV is intrusive and totally out of line. Perhaps Richard SHOULD notice Eldridge’s smirk. Would the story be stronger if he did?

Below is my attempt to put the scene completely in Richard’s point of view. Print it out and compare it side by side with the original to see how I did it. A site that has useful information and examples on fixing head hopping is WritingWorld.com. Do you have any “tricks” that make POV easier? Please share!

Dremore started to turn as they headed toward the footman only to be halted by a gentleman who blocked his way.

Tonight not even Eldridge can mar the evening, Richard thought as he took in the square face of his first cousin with its chiseled features so like his own. He knew this and their similar build and blond hair caused casual acquaintances and strangers to mistake them for each other. But Eldridge’s frosty grey eyes, thankfully different from his dark blue, as usual had a gleam Richard could not like. He banked his impatience to find the lady with whom he longed to share the evening.

“The old pile is in fine fettle this eve. Does you proud,” Eldridge drawled with his usual touch of sarcasm.

You never change, Richard thought. He quashed unwelcome memories of their childhood together. His parents had raised Eldridge with him when his cousin was orphaned. Eldridge knew perfectly well that the ancient house, a dozen furlongs from the newer family mansion, was kept in good repair because of a codicil in the first baron’s will. It unpleasantly dawned on Richard that Eldridge would also deduce his mother had demanded the soiree be held here despite his objections.

“Still cowtowing to your mother’s whims.”

The purr in his cousin’s voice confirmed Richard’s thought.

“I do hope she isn’t taking guests to visit the portrait,” Eldridge said. “Could prove . . . well, you know, embar--”

“’Haps you should have remained in London,” Richard snapped. If only he could slam a fist into the man’s face and wipe off that smirk.

“Never think I meant to offend.”

Richard took a step to pass Eldridge. He arched a brow in surprise when his cousin laid a hand on his arm.

“My apologies,” Eldridge offered. “I did not mean to offend. The Haven and its grounds are truly beautiful this time of year.

Do you recall my first summer here? Lud, what a time we had exploring this heap. Remember that day we removed the panel in the library?”

Those long ago days are better forgotten, Richard thought. The consequences of his cousin’s “little pranks” had usually fallen on him.

Why has Eldridge trapped me in “conversation” this eve only to prattle nonsense? Richard wondered. What does he want? He always wants something.

As Eldridge nattered on Dremore’s thoughts went to the guest he most wanted to see. Despite an acquaintance of only a scant week with Miss Stratton, he was beyond fond of the young woman. Everything in his life brightened for having met her, even Heart Haven.

Miss Stratton. He unknowingly half smiled as he pictured her delicate oval face and extraordinary blue eyes. This eve I shall gain permission to use your given name. Richard’s smile broadened. Daphne.

Would she wear her neat braid of rich brunette neatly coiled at the nape of her neck or adopt a more frivolous style for the party? A feathering of wayward curls about her face, golden highlights shimmering amidst the coffee brown tresses would prove irresistible. Such beautiful hair, Richard mentally mused. Such kissable lips. I cannot regret that I dared more than kissing her hand when we strolled alone in the gardens yester day. Richard sighed.

POV Part 1 by Joan Vincent

Point of View (POV) – the perspective or viewpoint from which the story is told.
The POV choices are: Omniscient narrator, limited omniscient narrator, objective point of view. For a review of these terms go to the Literary Terms website (scroll down to POV—the site is alphabetically arranged and quite interesting) To see an example of a brief story written in each follow Sleeping Beauty link, available beneath the POV list on this site.
POV involves, at the very basic, level two things:
1. Deciding which POV to use
2. STAYING with the POV of the character you’ve selected. Switching POVs abruptly and often in a scene is called Head Hopping. That’s because in one character’s POV you can only write what THAT character would do or know or see or think. Any other character’s thoughts, knowledge, etc is a hop to a different head. This is Verboten in most instances. Scenes are to be from one point of view but that can be tricky to achieve.

Below is part of a scene that I wrote that has frequent switches in points of view. See if you can recognize where they occur—the first step in fixing such a faux pas. I suggest you print it out and highlight the first part of each switch in viewpoint using different colors for different POVs.

Eldridge Blanchard blocked his cousin’s way when Richard turned from greeting his last guest.

First cousins and the same age, Dremore and Eldridge were at times mistaken for one another by those not familiar with the pair. They were tall and well formed with faces more square than long, with chiselled features. Both were blond though Richard’s thick mane curled at neck and forehead while Eldridge wore his swept back.

“The old pile is in fine fettle this eve. Does you proud,” Eldridge drawled even though he knew as well as Richard that the ancient house, a dozen furlongs from the newer family mansion, was kept in good repair because of a codicil in the original baron’s will. “Still cowtowing to your mother’s whims I see,” he continued, certain the dowager had insisted the week of activities be held here. Having been raised with Richard after the death of his parents Eldridge had diligently ferreted out all of the family foibles and skeletons.

Richard, accustomed to his cousin’s cutting jabs, and eager to be on his way, merely nodded.

“I do hope she isn’t taking guests to visit the portrait. Could prove--well you know,” Eldridge finished with a smirk.

Hackles rising, Richard took a steadying breath. “’Haps you should have remained in London,” he said shortly and made to pass his cousin.

“Never think I meant to offend,” Eldridge drawled as he manoeuvred the baron so that his cousin’s back was to the chamber. “My apologies,” he offered. “The Haven and its grounds are truly beautiful this time of year.

“Do you recall my first summer here? Lud, what a time we had we had exploring this heap. Remember that day we removed the panel in the library?”

Those long ago days were better forgotten as far as Richard was concerned. The consequences of his cousin’s “little pranks” had usually fallen on him. Why has Eldridge trapped me in “conversation” this eve only to prattle nonsense? Dremore wondered. What does he want? He always wants something.

As Eldridge nattered on Dremore’s thoughts went on the guest he most wanted to see. Despite knowing Miss Stratton but a few days he missed the young woman’s company. Everything in his life brightened for having met her, even Heart Haven.

Miss Stratton. He unknowingly half smiled as he pictured her delicate oval face and extraordinary blue eyes. This eve I shall gain permission to use your given name. Dremore’s smile broadened. Daphne.

Would she wear her neat braid of rich brunette neatly coiled at the nape of her neck or adopt a more frivolous still for the party? A feathering of wayward curls about her face, golden highlights shimmering amidst the coffee brown tresses would prove irresistible. Such beautiful hair, Richard mentally mused not noticing Eldridge smirk at his inattention. Such kissable lips. I cannot regret that I dared more than kissing her hand when we strolled alone in the gardens yester day. Richard sighed.

Tomorrow I will post a copy of the above paragraphs with each POV in a different color. You will see that it is far too colorful! I will also include my “Fix.” If you’re feeling energetic you can write your own fix and compare it to mine