Character Connections...of the Intimate Kind (Penny Rader)

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These are the 12 Stages of Intimacy made famous by Linda Howard. Several years ago I attended an RWA workshop she presented and was just blown away.

1. Eye to body
2. Eye to eye
3. Voice to voice
4. Hand to hand (or arm)
5. Arm to shoulder
6. Arm to waist, or back
7. Mouth to mouth
8. Hand to head
9. Hand to body
10. Mouth to breast
11. Hand to genitals
12. Genitals to genitals

Not all stories will use all 12 stages and not all stories will use them in order -- some may jump around.  I hope you’ll check the following articles for great explanations and examples of using the above steps.

Using the 12 Stages of Physical Intimacy to Build Tension In Your Fiction (Jenny Hansen)

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12 Steps to Intimacy (Terry O’Dell)

The Twelve Steps of Intimacy (Erica)

The Twelve Stages of Intimacy (Jana Richards)

Let's Get Intimate (Debora Dennis)

• The First Four Stages of Intimacy 
• The Middle Four Stages of Intimacy
• The Last Four Stages of Intimacy 

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Ideas for Developing Intimacy in a Romance Novel Relationship (Victoria Adams)

• Part 1 
• Part 2 
• Part 3 

Twelve Steps to Real Intimacy 


Here are tidbits from a couple more articles I found about intimacy.

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How to Get More Intimate Without Having Sex

This article talks about 3 types of intimacy that don’t involve sex.  I've included an example given in the article for each step:

• Being physical without sex.  Ex: Take hand holding to a whole new level.
• Having fun together.  Ex: Make a date of watching the sky.
• Bonding mentally.  Ex: Talk about your bucket lists.

Stages of Intimacy in Marriage (Alexis Aiger)

• Passion and Romance



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• Realization and Rebellion
• Distraction and Cooperation
• Reunion and Resurfacing
• Completion and Contentment

Just a reminder: If you like any of the articles above, be sure to save or print them.  You never know when they'll disappear.

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Do you have any tips you care to share on this topic?