P & A V quickie

Hey, Reese Mobley here wishing all my fellow readers and writers a happy September! Are you ready for an entire month of P & A V? I know that sounds like medical terminology or an appetizer at an overpriced restaurant or even something naughty and way more interesting than it really is. But, and this is a big but, knowing when to use Passive or Active Voice is vital to the flow of your manuscript.

One way to see how often you use a passive voice is to type the word WAS into your search/find option and click find next. How many times does the word WAS precede an action word? It’s okay to have a few, just don’t let them take over your manuscript.

Wrong: He was leaving before his wife.

Right: He left before his wife.

Wrong: She was following him to the jewelry store.

Right: She followed him to the jewelry store.

Wrong: She was watching her husband while he was buying an expensive diamond necklace.

Right: She watched her husband buy an expensive diamond necklace.

Wrong: He was planning on giving the diamond necklace to his girlfriend.

Right: The cheater planned to give the diamond necklace to his trampy girlfriend.

Wrong: He was going to ask his lovely wife for a divorce.

Right: She filed for a divorce from the jerk.

Wrong: Her lawyer was going to help her sue for custody of the necklace.

Right: She sued for divorce and custody of the diamond necklace.

Wrong: Her single, attractive lawyer was going to help her forget all about her husband.

Right: Her single, attractive lawyer helped her forget about the cheating husband.

Very Right: They sold the necklace and sailed off into the sunset.

The End.

Hugs,

Reese

8 comments:

Jessica Mobley said...

Well mother, I'm not going to lie, this sounds too much like real life. Do you have an attractive young lawyer? How young and attractive? Is he for me? ;-)
Love you mommy!

Jan Schliesman said...

I was thinking about leaving a comment. Then I found my active voice and viola, everything has changed for me:)

Reese Mobley said...

Jess, I don't know what kind of life you lead, but this sounds nothing like my life. Keep dreaming sweetie!XOXO

Reese Mobley said...

Good for you, Jan! Keep up the good work. :)

Penny Rader said...

Love how you made that into a little story, Reese! :D

Penny Rader said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Penny Rader said...

Oops, forgot to say Hi Jan! We've missed you.

Tina said...

Therea:

Passive versus active is my number one weakest point with my writing. Your article was very helpful, but I realize it will take practice!