Hey, Reese Mobley here wishing all my fellow readers and writers a happy September! Are you ready for an entire month of P & A V? I know that sounds like medical terminology or an appetizer at an overpriced restaurant or even something naughty and way more interesting than it really is. But, and this is a big but, knowing when to use Passive or Active Voice is vital to the flow of your manuscript.
One way to see how often you use a passive voice is to type the word WAS into your search/find option and click find next. How many times does the word WAS precede an action word? It’s okay to have a few, just don’t let them take over your manuscript.
Wrong: He was leaving before his wife.
Right: He left before his wife.
Wrong: She was following him to the jewelry store.
Right: She followed him to the jewelry store.
Wrong: She was watching her husband while he was buying an expensive diamond necklace.
Right: She watched her husband buy an expensive diamond necklace.
Wrong: He was planning on giving the diamond necklace to his girlfriend.
Right: The cheater planned to give the diamond necklace to his trampy girlfriend.
Wrong: He was going to ask his lovely wife for a divorce.
Right: She filed for a divorce from the jerk.
Wrong: Her lawyer was going to help her sue for custody of the necklace.
Right: She sued for divorce and custody of the diamond necklace.
Wrong: Her single, attractive lawyer was going to help her forget all about her husband.
Right: Her single, attractive lawyer helped her forget about the cheating husband.
Very Right: They sold the necklace and sailed off into the sunset.
The End.
Hugs,
Reese
8 comments:
Well mother, I'm not going to lie, this sounds too much like real life. Do you have an attractive young lawyer? How young and attractive? Is he for me? ;-)
Love you mommy!
I was thinking about leaving a comment. Then I found my active voice and viola, everything has changed for me:)
Jess, I don't know what kind of life you lead, but this sounds nothing like my life. Keep dreaming sweetie!XOXO
Good for you, Jan! Keep up the good work. :)
Love how you made that into a little story, Reese! :D
Oops, forgot to say Hi Jan! We've missed you.
Therea:
Passive versus active is my number one weakest point with my writing. Your article was very helpful, but I realize it will take practice!
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