Problems? What problems?

When I started writing, the whole world of writing was amazing to me. Every aspect was sparkly or scary. Scary because I couldn't understand what was happening in my head. How could a story unfold from it without conscious thought on my part?

With research, understanding, time, and two novels out, now I'm asking myself, what happened? Why doesn't a story unfold without conscious thought on my part? More than that, why is it the same struggle for others? Authors with little work finished and authors whose body of work is huge?

I have absolutely NO IDEA!!

That is what is driving me crazy.

I thought it was little time to write. I cleared some time.

I thought it was lack of discipline. I sat in the chair and stared and cursed at the cursor.

I thought maybe it was lack of inspiration. I inspired myself with, new paint, a new computer, new music, new clothes, new shoes, a new cat, a box of donuts, a pocket of chocolate, a pot of custom blend coffee, a framed note from an agent, nothing worked for over three minutes. All work in that time had to be redone.

I thought it was a lack of direction. I turned my desk around. (Ok, I didn't really, but I was getting desperate.)

I thought maybe I was suddenly unable to write so I took a sentence course on how to make interesting sentences. Now I'm totally confused as to how to string all of those interesting sentences together into one meaningful story. Meaningful? Never mind. How about interesting?

Then I thought maybe it was my regular life interfering with my fake one. So I took a look at what was happening this last week.
I had to approve, disapprove, rewrite, then approve the main ad for our business. It will run 13 weeks and cost roughly nine thousand dollars. Let's not get it too wrong, OK? Then don't forget the left-over containers for after the caterers after two customer dinners in two towns. Sister and mom are here to work over the family pictures and documents for three generations and include the family archive book and stories and give lessons making homemade biscuits. Hired girl gets here and begins to empty the kitchen cabinets so that they can be relined with birch veneer. Mom decides to begin working on the drip system that will allow the fish pond water, the patio containers, and two trees to actually get watered regularly and she's weed-eating random places around the yard (God help us.). Husband decides to cook but decides to make triple batches so he can help a friend who has chicken pox for the third time. How many apples does he need to buy for apple crisp and would I come and look at it to see if it is done? The darned cat can't get to the cat food because the barrier to make the door smaller so that the bobcat that has been getting in the green house and slashing the cat food sacks all open can't get in there. But now the human door won't latch. Better look into that. When will the pickup get to be in the garage again? Can we do something about the boxes of stuff mom has brought from Tucson for a garage sale in Walsh in October? The guy refinishing the dining room table sanded right down through the surface of the veneer, can we do something about that? The new veneer came in lets get it installed so meet me in Manter at nine in the morning and we'll give it a try. The man to replace the hailed out roof on the rent house has never shown up. The fellow that is painting the other one has charged all the materials to the accounts but hasn't done anything but remove the shutters on the other rent house. Yes, let's get new ones, but paint them black to match the ones we don't need to change. Rain? Nope, that's dirt in the wind. Yes, bug man, please spray the crickets in the seed building office. Did anyone water the new trees this week? Commerce bank called, they're missing a payment. Uncle Milon died. He fell down stairs and broke his ribs. At the hospital, he couldn't keep his lungs clear and died of pneumonia. Mom's friend's husband has had a heart attack and may not make it two more weeks. Is there anyway to get them help? Yes, Washington state has hospice care that is not only in the home, but also helps council those who have never gone down this path before. Cell signal is spotty. Air fares from Denver are only three hundred five dollars round trip and it would only take twenty four hours to get her there. Don't come yet? Ok. Town day, gotta buy some groceries and get finish for the inside of the cabinets since what we have will turn yellow. Yuk. Table finish took a dark turn, but will come out ok and will be delivered back on Saturday. There are four more blouses ready to pick up. The left rear tire on the car is flat. Trash is piling up in the garage and will be dealt with tomorrow morning when we go get the flat fixed. Called to find out how to stake the three new trees. What is the anniversary date of our company insurance so the secretary can schedule knee surgery? I'll find out. We took an inventory of our baseball farmer hats and we don't have any! Order some immediately and try to get them here as soon as possible. Yes, the pocket notebooks came in. I'll bring them to the seed meetings myself. Who parked the car in the garage at such an angle I can't get the front passenger door open? Yeah, buttons selected and put on two new blouses. Why don't I have any clean underwear? Why is the computer coughing up hairballs and giving me repeat messages that said I don't have enough virtual memory? Where are the sponge sticks I bought to put bleach on the mold I'm allergic to on the corner of the shower door before I cough up both lungs? Yes, mom, I found a place you can dump your dark water tanks in your motor home on Friday when you go to town. My new sandals rubbed sores on the top of my feet. We spent two hours waiting to get through the line at the hospital for the health fair. Then we spent two hours looking at dismal crops of ours drougthing out on the way home. The student I tutored in math is doing an excellent job and bounded ahead this Monday. He's also doing pretty good at getting my bank statements balanced. He has three out of five accounts up to date.

No, just a regular week.

I can't figure it out.

Somehow I will get a little forward in the story. Maybe I should plot a little instead of relying on the seat of my pants?


Reese Mobley said...

And I thought my week was busy. Nina, you crack me up. You're like the army. You get more done before 6 am than most people. I hope it slows down, but I know better. I'm amazed you actually get anything done. Hugs to you!

Melissa Robbins said...

No, all that stuff did not happen in a week. Sheesh! I'll never whine about my life again. Go lock yourself in somewhere and write. Don't open the door for anyone.

Pat Davids said...

Holy cow.

Nina Sipes said...

Actually, more happened but I decided I was heading into petty and whining territory. As I was writing it I was kind of surprised at the variety as it seems like samo samo neverending to me as events unfold. I don't usually lose an uncle, but when mom is here she tends to like to keep busy. The week before I watched as she worked my college hired girl into the dirt. Really, my mom can do more than I can a week and I'm always feeling like a lazy person around her. I only get the college girl when I absolutely need her to catch up, but this one has been with me for seven years--since she first got a driver's license. Her first summer all she had to do was keep up with the stickers--goat heads and sandburs. Now she's a full fledged woman about to get married next June and I'm going to miss her like a daughter. She's been so much fun to teach and work with. Ahemm. Well, I work at something while she works at something else. THAT is too wonderful.

When mom first got here she said I needed time for myself and to write an hour every morning. But that's in her head. When she arrives in the house right after breakfast, she has her eye on her watch and is rearing to go. Reality is 'keep up'.

I read about what happens in you-all's lives and believe me, you-all sound as busy as I am. Maybe you just need to list it once in a while to see how wonderful you are.

Penny Rader said...

Ho-ly cow, Nina. {{{{Hugs}}}, {{{{hugs}}}}, and more {{{{{hugs}}}}}.

Nina Sipes said...

Thanks for the hugs! Mom's at sister's this weekend and I've been sooooo laaaazy. I read three books and hopefully fixed my virtual memory problem by dumping a lot of temporary files.
I soothe my conscience by saying I"m waiting for the varnish to dry.......