The Pearl in My Oyster or The Sand in My Cleavage
Long Version (because this is a blog, dang it, and is supposed to take up some space!):
Self worth is the value we come up with when we judge ourselves. Our inner judge is a snarky, dark creature with fickle attitudes. If you don't get the things done you think you'd like to get done, then your self worth takes a dive. I've lived under that little sand pile for years.
I am learning to quit listening to the nag. No one else hears my self worth. Everyone else has one of their own. Now, I'm going by the pearl in my oyster/sand in my cleavage method of living.
I recommend it. It is satisfying and others notice how happy I am.
Sand in my cleavage: If it bugs me, do something about it now or ASAP.
Example: I am bugged that I don't have time to write--sand in my.....
Solution: Put in a load of wash, set timer, go write for that long.
Other solution: Put in load of wash, turn on dishwasher, set timer.....
write for that long, go to bathroom, fold laundry.
Example: I am bugged by bug on window sill
Solution: Grab tissue, get bug, dust window sill, dust stuff on way to trash
Example: Bugged by Pile on desk.
Solution: Set timer, deal with pile, if overwhelmed, pick one thing off pile, deal with it, and go do something else. One thing can make you feel very good.....
Do the piddly little things bugging you and you'll feel so good about getting rid of those little bits of sand in your cleavage that soon all you have left in your Self worth sack are pearls of virtuous feeling in your oyster of life.
Life is not about getting things done. Life is about living your life as happy and content as you are able under your circumstances. Don't let things that self worth thinks is important keep you from the pearls of dealing with things that bug YOU.
Oddly, my self worth has decided to whisper happy tunes at me instead of snarky comments. Maybe things were bugging her too.
Short version:
Do what bugs you most as soon as possible, no matter how silly or small. A tiny flush of gratification will happen. Soon--about two to three weeks, you will have spaces open up in your life to do other even more wonderful things.
Like writing, reading, even a nap....
Come back and comment after three weeks or so, I'd be interested in hearing about your sand/pearl situation....
3 comments:
Nina,
You are a pearl of great price. Your words of wisdom falls like snow on a sometimes ugly world making it sparkle in the most amazing fashion. Thank you.
My self-worth has been hindering me of late. I believe I need to go back to taking baby steps to finish this book. A timer sounds like an excellent idea.
Ahhhh Pat, you waxed poetic on me.
Thanks! Your words are always encouraging even with the finger pointing towards the BICFOK motion!
You can also use the timer on the things that bug you. Like other people. The other day, I brought out my timer and set it on the counter, then said, you have exactly 12min.30sec. to howl out your problems to me. (I was feeling quirky-hence the split time.) Then, I told them the howling was going to cease and we'll take some kind of action for 10 minutes. We did her dishes. I love doing someone else's dishes--if I get to wash. It makes me feel virtuous and giving. And I like playing in the soapy water with someone else's dishes/pans/whatever.
It's odd, I suppose, but my philosophy has always been the negative things in life are allowed too or you don't know how good you've got it the rest of the time. But, dwelling on them for over a certain time is not allowed. Day or two, week tops. Then enough is enough. Blow the stink off by leaving home and walking in a park. Sitting and watching some dumb squirrel do dumb things. Doesn't matter what, but get outside!
Renew yourself. Then go back at it. The timer will let you know when to go get another cup of coffee or watch a cartoon, make cookies. And by the way, I know of few people who should have a better sense of self worth than you. Did you rent yours out? Leave it in a pocket?
I always learn so much from your posts, Nina. Thanks so much for sharing with us.
And I'm super tickled your self-worth is whistling happy tunes to you. :D I hope my does, too, soon.
Also got a kick out of your reply to Pat. Blow the stink off made me LOL. My dog glanced over as if to ask what's so funny. And since I got off work early today, I'm enjoying watching the birds and squirrels through the sliding glass door.
I'm renewing myself tonight. My baby sis is in town for a couple days. Yay! In a couple hours several of us are going out to dinner and then a movie. I always feel better after hanging out with my baby sis.
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