I Never Get Any Respect: As told to Sandy Van Doren ©

I’m built strong enough to do a lot of work, but not strong enough to do all the work.  Yet that’s what many writers expect of me.  Like this one:

She’s about five hundred dollars short of the ransom, and has less than twenty-four hours to get it.

Putting me between the two verbs of a sentence makes me work when I don’t have to.

She’s about five hundred dollars short of the ransom and has less than twenty-four hours to get it.

You see, not every and requires a comma.  Now, if there’s more than two verbs in the same sentence, use me.

She’s about one hundred dollars short of the ticket price, has lost too much blood to get up, and has less than twenty-four hours before he finds her.

Inserting a comma before and in sentences with three verbs is author’s choice.  If I would help make your words clearer to your reader, then I’d be happy to go to work.  Any more than three, I’m a must.

If and joins two or more main ideas that can stand on their own, I’m your mark.

She’s about one hundred dollars short of a bus ticket out of this mud hole of a town, and she just found out bus service will be discontinued in two days.

Each of these uses applies if you use any conjunction such as and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet, while, and whereas.

She’s about five hundred dollars short of the ransom but has less than twenty-four hours to get it.

She’s about one hundred dollars short of the ticket price, has lost too much blood to get up, yet has less than twenty-four hours before he finds her.

She’s about one hundred dollars short of a bus ticket out of this mud hole of a town, while she just found out bus service will be discontinued in two days.

Now, all that being said, an example of overworking me would be:

Her heart truly stopped for the space of several beats, when thick hands with short, freckled fingers reached for a hand towel, not more than eighteen inches from her, but within her line of vision.

Commas…and where none are needed or should be.  Comma #1 sets a dependent clause apart from the main clause it depends on for meaning.  Comma #2 is legit; it’s separating adjectives.  Comma #3 is keeping a descriptive phrase from the item it describes; the same with Comma #4.

Think of me as a rather mild mark of punctuation.  I can indicate a slight degree of pause or separation between words or groups of words.  I don’t have the strength to keep whole clauses apart.

The echo of a breaking tree branch cracked overhead, she whirled around and stumbled over a downed Aspen.

She turned to run, but a thorny shrub snagged the leg of her blue jeans, the world crumbled from beneath her.

That’s why you should pair me with a conjunction or use a semicolon.  Or break the sentences apart with periods and capitals.

The echo of a breaking tree branch cracked overhead.  She whirled around and stumbled over a downed Aspen.

She turned to run, but a thorny shrub snagged the leg of her blue jeans.  The world crumbled from beneath her.  

Or:

 She turned to run.  But a thorny shrub snagged the leg of her blue jeans, and the world crumbled from beneath her.

You know, I’m the most frequently used punctuation mark, as indeed I should be.  After all, I tell readers when to pause and where a word is missing.  I separate thoughts and descriptions, and I add rhythm to sentences.  Keep in mind, my main job is to create clarity for the reader, let him know what’s on your mind, tell her just how you want this sentence to be heard.

But, please, respect my limitations.  Respect.  Respect.  My kingdom for a little respect.  Oops, sorry.  I’m off my soapbox now.