2014. How's it Going So Far?

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

That's the quote I discovered and put on my Facebook banner.  I thought it said a lot about what we've blogged about this month.  At the beginning of a new year, we make resolutions, goals, promises to ourselves, our families, our friends.  Those things are sometimes easy to make, but oh so hard to keep.  At least for me it is.  And it takes work.  Hard work.

It's been quite a month for many of us. 

Pat, once again, has graciously accepted to wear the crown of WARA president for another year.  Bless you, Pat. ;)  As always, she keeps us going and reminds us--or at least me--that time goes on, whether we're paying attention or not.  Yeah, a lot of "not" days for me.  It seems the days go by faster and faster, leaving me to wonder why it was January 1st yesterday, and now it's almost the end of the month.

Theresa has decided to take on a new "identity" as Theresa Jaye, but she'll always be the same sweet, caring and giving person she's always been.  No matter who "she" is, she'll  always tickle our funny bones with her blog posts and her positive outlook on just about everything.

Joan continues on her journey of conquering health issues, while living in limbo during an extended move from one house to a new one.  Not an easy feat!  No doubt she'll conquer the boxes and everything else, before the year is half gone.

Nina taught us how not to make a pocket calendar and that she's filled with determination to win her battle with technology.  Aren't we all?  Thanks to Nina for sharing so many organization tricks!  I can use all the help I can get.

Penny reminded us all of how important she is to all of us and that we're a lot like a family---we're here for each other.  That may be one of the best things anyone can ever learn.  Thank you, Penny. :)

Melissa wants to be the odd duck. ;)  She's looking forward to her "new year" in late August, when all of her offspring will be attending full days of school.  No more half-days for her bunch!  Or her!!!  I remember those days well and seem to be repeating them again with my g-kids.  I guess I didn't learn the lesson the first time around!

Becky found good things about breaking her arm.  Now that's an accomplishment I need to learn.  No, no, not the broken arm, but finding good things in what we perceive to be not so good at all.  Becky, really? Titanium?  Wow!  Is that like Superman or something?  Thanks for showing us the best way to handle the rough spots.

Me?  I mentioned setting goals and a lot of other useless things.  I'm still on the road with them, but I'll admit that some days I just want to sit down and let the day go by.  Can't do that, though, so I'm up and chasing my dreams.  C'est la vie.

Thank you to all of our bloggers for making this little spot one of my favorite places to stop and not only catch up, but learn more about each of you.  And thank you to our visitors for stopping by!

Today is the best day of the year!

On Your Mark, Get Set, Goal

It's a good thing I looked at the calendar, because I would have forgotten I needed to be here today.  I know it's January.  I know we've moved into 2014, but other than that, I'm a bit lost.

It would be nice to escape setting goals right now.  I thought I knew where I wanted to take this year.  But recently I've realized my old goals, the ones I've been making and usually meeting, aren't going to work for me the way I'd thought they might  It's time to step back, rethink, and re-goal.  Yes, a sort of New Beginning.

My writing goal in 2013 was to write 200,000 words.  I met that goal.  In fact, my WARA friends may not know, but I wrote 232,653 words, not counting blog posts.  The total for those was 49,666.  I'll let you do the math.  How did I do it?  I wrote three books.  Three and a half, to be more precise.  Half of one of those three was rewritten last month is scheduled to be released in August of this year  The other two?  That's the big question.

I enjoy writing.  I love writing.  Sometimes it's crazy, but in the end, it's satisfying.  There's very little of the process that I don't like.  But then I've written something or other most of my life.  I also enjoy reading, something I haven't had much time to do this year.

Because the majority of my life is writing, I keep an eye on what's happening in the publishing world.  If you haven't noticed--and you'd have to be a complete non-reader to do that--that world is changing.  E-books are everywhere.  Many traditionally published authors, including our own Deb Stover, have decided to explore this new experience for both writers and readers.  Personally, I haven't bought a print book for quite some time, but I've definitely amassed a lot of books for my Kindle--written by both traditionally published authors and indie/self-published authors.  If I only had time to read them!

So here are my goals.  I expect some certain people to keep me on them.  You know who you are.

• Goal #1:  Read more
• Goal #2:  Give myself permission to enjoy life more

The first goal is covered by having more books than I could read in a year.  The second will be somewhat taken care of by the first goal.  Reading to me is enjoyment. :)  

• Goal #3:  Have a more positive attitude about myself and my life

Goal # 2 should help with #3.  And I've taken other steps to achieve it.  Several months ago, I began practicing meditation.  I hadn't been sleeping well.  I'd toss and turn, unable to go to sleep.  Once I finally did fall into dreamland, I (thankfully) slept well.  I needed to turn off the worry and problems of the day, and I found that meditation before bedtime solved that.  Although doing it in the morning is probably better and helps the day move along more smoothly, bedtime was the only time I could carve out to do it.  Hey, I tried yoga a couple of years ago, but my body rebelled.  And when the body rebels, the mind does, too.  Sleep comes quickly now, no matter what problems and obstacles the day has presented.

There are more things to work out, more goals to set, but those three must come first.  Like Theresa Jaye, I need to reinvent myself.  I'm grabbing her shirttails and going along for the ride.  After raising four daughters and basically helping raise five grandchildren, it's time for me.  Selfish?  I don't think so.  Now to figure out who me is. :)  Oops!  Who I am. ;)

It all takes time.  We have to learn to know ourselves, we have to search our hearts for what we truly want.  After that, we have to go for it!  Once we do, those goals are more easily made.  I may not get as far as I hope, but I'll at least be on the road.  If nothing else, I'm stubborn.  Once I make up my mind to do something, I do it.

Making goals?  Always.  It's something I had to learn to do, but once learned, it's become a habit.  Reaching them--or trying to--also became habit.  I'm eager to see what 2014 will bring.  It's good to see that so many here are, too.

Happy 2014!  May your wishes and dreams come true!  I'm going to work to see that mine do.

My Favorite Things (cue Julie Andrews)

My grandkids look at me as if I've lost my mind when I tell them to take care of their books, because books are their friends.  For me, growing up as an only child, books were my friends, especially when all the other kids were busy with something else.  Books opened up the world around me, whether fiction or non-fiction or even encyclopedias.  Is it a wonder I started wearing glasses in second grade, after reading books by nightlight?

It was no accident in later years that when I had an answer or a problem that I would go out and search for self-help books.  From being a better person and uncluttering my house to pregnancy and child-raising and everything in between, I had a book on it.  So when I came to the point of deciding that I wanted to be a writer, it was books that I turned to.

I still have one bookshelf filled with writing how-to books that contains one book that actually put me on the road: You Can Write a Romance...and Get It Published! by Yvonne MacManus.  That's where I found information on Romance Writers of America and the date of an upcoming National Conference.  I joined immediately, rented a car, and purchased plane tickets...all in one day.  That day changed my life.

Although You Can Write a Romance... was the book that put me on the path to--well, not stardom, by any means, but learning and happiness and new friends and more--it was only the beginning.  I discovered Debra Dixon's Goal, Motivation & Conflict, boosting my writing skill to a new level.  I met and became friends with author Elizabeth Sinclair, who penned The Dreaded Synopsis (A Writing and Plotting Guide), and have nearly worn off the cover.  I've not only used it for writing a synopsis, but for plotting, too.  The one book that is always within arm's reach is The Synonym Finder by J.I. Rodale.  It's basically a thesaurus, but contains only synonyms, and is nearly three inches thick.  I'm on my third copy.  The first two copies were only well-worn, but worn out.

But the best thing about all of this is not the books, but the people I've met along the journey.  There are my WARA friends and the Ditzy Chix, a group of 10-12 authors that came together in the summer of 2001 to share the ups and downs of being writers.  My friend Kathie DeNosky has always been my guide and inspiration, keeping me from throwing in the towel, many times.  In fact, we became best of friends at that first RWA conference in 1996 in Dallas, Texas.  We still laugh about the day the lightbulb lit over our heads when we realized at the same time what the difference was between Harlequin Temptation and Silhouette (now Harlequin) Desire.  The other who makes up our triad of craziness is Kristi Gold, who makes me laugh and makes me think.  Listening to one of our three-way phone calls as we brainstorm would leave most people dazed and confused.  But even with the three of us talking at once, we understand and help each other, whether it's brainstorming or sharing the trials and joys of life.

So that's it.  Books, books, and friends, none of which I could live without and am eternally grateful to each and every one.  Without them, I'd be sitting in a corner, gibbering senseless stories to myself.  Now I get to share that gibbering with many, many more.  What could be better?

You Are Not Alone

Tomorrow is WARA's Mini-Retreat Part 2.  In other words, this is our second 1-day retreat of the year.  I'm really looking forward to it.  It's a great way to refill the well, kick-start a new project, find answers to perplexing plot or character problems, and, in general, have a good time with friends.

In our quest to blog about well refilling this month, we've focused mainly on things we do on our own and by ourselves.  Doing this really is important.  It's also something we shouldn't be doing at our desk or our laptop.  It really is based on getting away and putting some space between writing and self.  We need to take care of us.  When we do that, our writing will often take care of itself.

In addition to our private well-filling and self-nurturing, we need to remember that having friends is just as important.  Even stay-at-home-moms are encouraged to join groups such as Moms Day Out.  Being a hermit, whether chosen or by default, isn't healthy for the soul. We need other people to bring us out of ourselves, to see the world from the perspective of someone else, to expand mentally, emotionally, and creatively.

Groups are fun, especially groups that share an interest.  For a writer, a group can be the one thing that keeps her from giving up, dropping out, or being inert. Just listening to a group of writers---especially female writers!---can lift another write to the point of wanting and sometimes needing to write.  For a women, a group provides friendship, support, and fun.  Last month, four of us (three WARA members and a former member) met at a local movie theater to see Hope Springs.  It provided a wonderful way to get away from our usual venue, do a quick catch-up on what's going on in each other's lives, and enjoy not only the movie, but the company of friends.

If you're finding that refilling the well isn't going as you'd hoped it would, maybe it's time to pull in some help. Gather some friends together for a few hours and have fun.  When it's over, you might look down into that well and discover that it's brimming, once again.  One warning.  Don't make this a time to complain or grumble over the hurdles you're encountering in life.  Make this a time to look for the things that make you smile.  And then do it. ☺

Happiness adds and multiplies, as we divide it with others. -- A. Nielsen

THE TOUR CONTINUES

My name is Reese (points to name badge) and I will be your tour guide for this portion of the Where We Write tour. I write many places but I happen to be my most productive in a converted bedroom that belonged to each of my children at one time or another. I feed off their lingering creative energy and, now that they’re grown, I appreciate their continuing support of my writing endeavor.

As you walk into my office the first thing that catches your eye has to be the seven sagging shelves and the bookcases all bulging with books. What can I say? I love books more than I love chocolate. No really. I do. Unless you count M&M’s. They hold a soft spot in my heart but tend to create soft spots over the rest of me.

The walls in here are really pink and barely white and covered with dozens of family pictures, art work from friends and a loveable armadillo Pat gave me in Dallas along with a note (which I still have) that reminds me that I can be tougher than the rodent when it comes to perseverance in the writing biz. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Pat. And the rat. I also have a letter from Deborah after I received a rejection. Her kind words are a gentle kick in the rear to remind me that I CAN do this. I just can’t give up. Thanks, Debo. A love note from my hubby completes the trifecta.

I have a large corner desk that is cluttered with the riff-raff of my daily life. Including manuscript pages, pens, catalogs, my IPod dock, more pens, research books, notepads, sticky notes, an M&M mug from my sister, trinkets of affection from my kids and hubby, candles and a picture of my mom and I from our trip to Florida. Believe me when I tell you I need these things around me. They make me happy. Until it comes time to dust them—but that’s another blog topic.

A large sign hangs above my desk that says And They Lived Happily Ever After. Beneath that is my wedding picture and next to that is one of us on the Caribbean cruise we took for our 25^th wedding anniversary. Of course, the real story of my adult life lies not in these two framed pictures but in everything that happened between them.

Over there (practiced two-fingered point) is a futon to park yourself on and a whole wall of dry erase boards to plot on. A closet full of shelves—holding more very important paraphernalia including a box that contains letters of encouragement, congratulation cards from friends and family and every single one of the sympathy cards I received when my dad died that I can’t yet part with complete the picture.

This room fits my personality and it's my happy place. I come in here to just be me.

That concludes our tour for today. Help yourself to some homemade brownies or cookies on your way out and please remember to visit the gift shop before you leave.

Hugs,

Reese

I Remember Lexi (Penny Rader)

2006 was a grandchildren bonanza for me. Two grandbabies were born days apart in June and one more arrived mid-September. There was definitely a lot of joy that year. There was also fear. And sorrow.

One day, while witnessing my daughter Kathy's sonogram, we received some frightening news. Lexi would be born with a rare disability. Her femur bones were missing. We drew some deep breaths and bombarded heaven with prayers, certain we could get through this. Then Lexi arrived two months early. It didn't look good. Her lungs weren't fully developed. I can't find the words to explain how scared I was, we all were. My dh was in Houston because a grandson had been born four days earlier. I had to ask him to come home because we didn't know how long we'd have Lexi with us.

Lexi was a scrapper. She hung in there and fought for her life. When she was a few weeks old she was sent to Children's Mercy hospital in Kansas City. She had to have a tracheostomy to help her breathe. I can't thank the staff of Children's Mercy and the Ronald McDonald Houses enough for all they did for us while we were in KC. Lexi was finally able to return to Wesley hospital here in Wichita about a month later. I forget how many times she battled pneumonia. It became a routine for me to go to the hospital after work and read or sing softly to her for a while. I always kept a bag packed just in case we'd have to make another trip to KC.

That little girl had spunk. She had her favorites among the staff. She'd pretend to be asleep when a doctor she wasn't fond of came into the room. I've been told she also pulled the same stunt when they came in for physical therapy. After they left her room she'd open one eye and look around.

She came home from the hospital the end of November. My daughter's living room became Lexi Central. Her ventilator was pretty noisy. Home health nurses were on hand nearly round the clock. She made another trip or two back to hospital because of pneumonia. Because she had survived those first scary days I fully expected my little sweetie to keep chugging along. I was looking forward to watching her grow and amaze us all. Then, on December 11, minutes after I had gotten up to get ready for work, the phone rang. It was Kathy, asking me to come to the hospital. She told me Lexi had died. I couldn't wrap my brain around that. Sometimes I still can't.

She'd be four now. I look at Liam and Jessalyn, the other grandbabies born that year, and wonder what Lexi'd be like now. I'm sure she's giving the good Lord a great deal of pleasure and joy. I picture her laughing and running and keeping Him on his toes.

Something positive did come out of our loss. My daughter and Lexi's daddy formed a foundation in memory of Lexi. It's called Lexi's LAMB. We provide toys and activities for children in the hospital. On Christmas Eve we deliver presents in person to the children who are unable to go home. This year we'll also be giving small care packages to the parents. Just a few small things we hope will make their hospital stay a bit easier.

Till we meet again, Lexi girl. I just want you to know how much you were loved and how grateful I am for the five months we had with you. I miss you like crazy, punkin. I still haven't completely unpacked that bag.