With a Little Help from My Friends

Making a Friendship

While I'm an avid plotter like Pat and it's done a lot to help me as a writer, when I really thought about what is "the most useful writing craft idea I've ever found", it isn't plotting, it isn't an idea or a craft.  It's friends.

When I came into this writing thing, my goal was to see if I could actually write a romance.  I'd bounced back into reading them after a long spell and discovered I enjoyed them.  Really enjoyed them.  A far cry from Stephen King books, for sure.  So I sat down and wrote, mostly longhand, a romance novel.  I liked it!  I really liked it!  Not that it was a great story, but it was fun and I wanted to write more.

Sometime later, I actually had an odd thought.  Maybe I could become a real author with this new found enjoyment.  I checked out books, I bought books, everything I could find on how to write a romance and what to do after it was written. And in the back of one of those books--Romance Writer's Sourcebook--I found information on Romance Writers of America (RWA).  My interest skyrocketed.

This was before the internet became what it is today, but as soon as I learned that my then-husband had been using the World Wide Web for some time---we won't talk about what happened when I found the charge listed on the credit card for it---I demanded I get a chance to give it a try.  I honestly don't remember how, but I found a romance writers chatroom.  I read it for weeks, never typing a word to interact with the others, just reading their conversations.  Not until my birthday, that is, when I decided, what the heck.  Introduce yourself, silly.  In that chatroom, I found people who were actually writing and seeking publication.  One of those people just happened to be an RWA member and a Golden Heart Finalist, who was going to the National RWA conference in Dallas in a little over a month.  I, too, decided that one way or another I would be at that conference.  I called RWA, paid a new membership fee and conference fee, booked a flight, a hotel room and a rental car, and informed the then-husband that I was going to Dallas.  He nearly fell off the combine, where he was standing.

Kat and moi on the road trip to DC 2000 Conference

I'll never forget how nervous I was, but when Kathie DeNosky, the Golden Heart Finalist from that
chatroom, came up behind me to introduce herself as I stood in line to register, it became one of the biggest turning points in my life.  (Note:  I'd told her what I'd be wearing and she'd been watching for me.)  We bonded instantly, and I swore to her that I would hang onto her shirttail forever.  I did, and still do.  She sold her first book to Silhouette Desire on June 14 (my birthday), three years later.  I sold my first to Silhouette Romance on April 3, 2000.

Along the way, we met and made friends with many romance writers, both published and yet-to-be-published.  Janet Barton, who now writes for Love Inspired, became one of our dearest friends, as did Belinda Barnes, who sold to Silhouette Romance before I did.  We critiqued together, we brainstormed together, we consoled and celebrated together.  Kat (Kathie) and I logged more times on the phone (me in Kansas, she in Illinois) with each other than two people ever should.  If it hadn't been for those three ladies, I would have thrown in the towel, dozens of times.  We shared good times and bad times, and even a few secrets.

Although we no longer spend anywhere near the time on the phone as we did in the past, Kat and I are still often in touch.  We brainstorm (along with chitcat and gossip) via phone (3-way calls) with Kristi Gold (Desire, SuperRomance, and back to Desire) in Texas, who once critiqued with Belinda Barnes.  Yes, it's a small world.

But it isn't just the ones I've mentioned that have inspired me along the road of writing.  It's also the many members of WARA I've been blessed to know, throughout the past seventeen years.  I love ya, ladies!

Writing is like making a quilt.  You can do it alone, or you can do it with friends.  Honestly? Both quilting and life are much better enjoyed with friends.

We Are Addicted

It takes a few seconds to recall the days before computers became an integral part of our lives.  I remember my first computer, a Commodore 128, purchased in the 1980s, before the internet became readily available to the average household.  At the time, I was involved with a small, local community theater group, and I couldn't believe everything I could do with my nifty computer:  making flyers--with graphics!--and writing articles about the group for the local newspaper.

By the early 90s, my then-husband became interested in what a computer could do and bought a much better one--for him.  I was sometimes allowed to use it when he was at work.  I took a correspondence course in writing for children and teenagers, typing away on both the old and the 'new' computer when I could, then mailed my assignments in when finished.  Internet had not yet arrived for the common man or woman.  I left writing behind for a few years and didn't pick it up again until my four daughters were a little older.  In the meantime, I'd returned to reading romance and decided it might be fun to try my hand at writing it.  It was!  I wrote for a year or so, bought some books on writing romance, then discovered some information in one of the books about a national organization for romance writers--Romance Writers of America--and their annual conference was quickly approaching!  And RWA had a local chapter!!  Penny Rader and I had met in the book store where she worked at the time, and she had previously invited me to join it, although I wasn't quite ready for that...yet.

I also learned WE HAD INTERNET.  And we'd had it for some time.  Color me angry.

With the Internet, a whole new world opened up for me.  I found the Romance Authors Page (RAP) chatroom for romance writers, where I lurked for over a month.  Then, on my 45th birthday, I stuffed my shyness in a closet and joined it.  In the meantime, I'd become an RWA member, booked a flight to the conference in Dallas, a rental car and a hotel room.  I also attended my first WARA meeting.  In the RAP chatroom, I met Kathie DeNosky, who was a Golden Heart finalist that year, and we met in person in at the conference.  We still remain very close friends, although she lives in southern Illinois and I live in Kansas.  Had it not been for computers and the Internet, that never would have happened.  Since then, I've met hundreds, if not thousands, of romance writers and count many of them as friends.

Yesterday morning, the sky fell down on me.  I turned on my computer to discover that my monitor wouldn't work.   No writing, no connecting with friends, nothing.  I love my monitor.  22" at my fingertips to see the world.  It even swivels to vertical, so I can compare two documents at the same time.  But now, when I turn it on, there's a blank screen...then turns off...then turns on, only to keep repeating.  I blame the electric company.  In just over four weeks, our power has gone out four times, always when the computer is on.  The first time was for 25 hours, due to a storm.  The second time, barely two weeks ago, power was out for almost two hours.  The third time, earlier this past week, it was out for about 45 minutes.  Then Friday night, with no storm in sight, the power on our block went out, came on, went out, came on, then went out, in less than 10 seconds.  It stayed out for about 20 minutes.  I ended up spending the rest of the evening with my youngest daughter and her best friend, before finally going to bed.  Then came the fallen sky yesterday morning.   I spent most of the day trying to fix the monitor, even buying a new video cable.  It's now Sunday, and I'm now using my oldest daughter's old 12" monitor.  This is not fun, but without it, I'd be found in a corner, huddled in the fetal position.  But it works, and since I'm on deadline and can't live without connecting with my friends, I don't have a choice.

So, yes, I have an addiction to computers and the Internet, but I'm not alone.  On the flip-side, as long as I have a computer and Internet, I'm never alone...except during those power outages and blown out monitors.

It's Almost Time...

My mouth dropped open earlier today when I realized we're only four days away from the end of 2012.  The years just keep going by faster and faster.  One of these days I expect to blink, only to discover that I'm in a new year, with no memory of the one I just left.

WARA members are probably groaning as they read this.  They know I'll be pulling out the whip soon.  You see, with only four days left of this year, we're coming to the end of our word count challenge for the year.  And that means we'll be starting a new one.

Hear my evil laughter?  Oh, wait!  That means I have to buckle down, too.  Yikes.  Hear my big sigh?

Get ready...
How many WARA members---or non-WARA members---have given some thought to new goals for the new year?  How many have actually taken steps to get ready to work on those goals?  How many are chomping at the bit to get started on those goals?  (crickets chirping)

If you've participated in this year's Word Count Challenge, it's the best place to start for setting a new goal.  Did you reach your goal?  Did you come close, but didn't quite make it?  Did you find you didn't have nearly the time--or the drive--to stick with it?

Yeah, yeah, I know.  Lots of questions, but answers to them will help.  So will a few tools.

• You'll need a calendar.  I like this one to start with.  It's printable and all of one year is on one page for a great overview.  It also has the option of the availability of more than the current, next and previous month.  And the holidays are listed on the bottom, so I don't have to look them up somewhere else.  Mark off any important dates, such as family birthdays, vacations, times you know you'll be otherwise occupied with life things.  Then transfer that information onto a calendar that gives you space to write on and where you can jot down word count.  (MS Word has calendars and calendar templates that you can print, if you want something plain or don't want to bother with buying a calendar.)  
• Take a look at your 2012 goal (if you had one) and use it as the basis for planning your 2013 goal.  If it was a good year, do it again or maybe even add more words to your goal.  Maybe it was a bad year for you.  Maybe things happened that you didn't know about, but were big enough to put your goals aside, at least for a little while.  Ask yourself it it's possible those same things could happen again.  Or something similar.  If tax time is busy...  If summer leaves you with little time because of little ones...  You get the picture. :)
• Keep Murphy's Law of Goals in mind.  Never heard of it?  It goes like this: When working on a goal, especially a year-long one, life will always intrude.  Don't fight it.  Don't let it beat you.  Deal with what needs your attention, then when you can get back to your goal, do so.  And don't beat yourself up, either.
• Any forward motion, any progress is a +.  The saying, "You can't fix a blank page" has been attributed to Nora Roberts.  Whether she said it or someone else did, it's the truth.
• Just write.  When you find it difficult to put words on paper, don't give up too quickly.  Sometimes getting started is slow going.  Very slow going.  But once started, no matter how slow and painful, it can and often does pick up speed.
• Plan ahead.  It really does help to have some kind of idea of what you'll be writing.  This doesn't mean you have to have a book fully plotted or a synopsis written, but knowing your characters, their GMCs and what the story will be about is a huge help.  Ideas often come at strange times, so try to always have something handy where you can jot the ideas that come to mind.
• Don't quit.  Of course there are times in life where you aren't given the choice of moving forward, but too often people give up when the going gets a little rough.  Lost time can be slowly made up over a longer period of time.  If it isn't, it's okay, as long as you don't give up without giving yourself another chance.
• Take stock .  If you've fallen behind for any reason, rethink your goal.  There's nothing wrong with making an adjustment, no matter how small or large.  If you find you set your goal too low, smile.  Next time you can set it higher.
• If you need some help with setting goals, check out Diary of a Mad Romance Writer.  Yeah, that's my blog, and I have more blog posts than what's probably needed on the subjects of both motivation and setting goals.  And I have LOTS of links for extra help.

I'm tired just thinking about it, but knowing  that working toward a goal is doable, I'm ready to start.  I know what I want to accomplish, I know how I can accomplish it, and I plan to start 2013 with determination and the will to finish.  I hope you all will do the same.  See you January 13!  And Happy New Year!!!

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right. - Oprah Winfrey

The value of friends

I almost forgot to blog today. Yesterday was my cousin's funeral. I had to hurry home afterwards because my hubby needed an MRI of his brain. Long story short. It was a lovely funeral and the MRI had to be postponed. All of this got me thinking about my friends.

My husband is my best friend. He's been that for as long as I've known him, even during those times when I wanted to part his hair with a frying pan. My daugher, too, has become a dear friend after some rocky years as a teenager.

My cousin Kay was a childhood friend. That's not a picture of us, but I wish I had one like it. We drifted apart over our married lives, but when we reconnected during her illness, it was as if those years were only a long weekend and we were laughing and giggling like girls again. How funny that we can pick up a friendship right where we put it down. It's one of the magical things about having friends. I know when I meet Kay in heaven it will be exactly the same. All giggles and joy and none of the sorrow that touches us here.

My WARA friends mean the world to me, too. Reese and I joined at the same time. I won't say how many years ago that was, but I value her friendship today as I did in the begining. Roxann was there to mentor me at the start and I can't thank her enough. Starla, too, shared her wisdom with a newbie in the early years. All these people, and many more, (you know who you are), have been friends to me and my support both in and outside of my career. I want to thank all of you for that.

So tell me about your friends. What's your best friend's name? How did you meet? What's the best way to say thanks for being my friend.