Romance: Tendency To The Wonderful Or Mysterious

It’s always difficult to pen my blog after reading all the wonderful ones that have come before me. I always wonder, what can I say that’s new? I suspect not much, but I will attempt to dazzle you with my profound wisdom concerning romance. Not!

Romance can mean many things to many people. To me, it has always been that unexpected gesture of love. The little things that someone does  just because they love you.

To me, romance has never been about flowers and candy, movies or dinner. It’s about giving of oneself in unexpected and unasked for ways. It’s showing your loved one they are so important to you, that you are willing to go out of your way to do something nice for them.  

I miss that now that my husband is gone, knowing someone out there is thinking especially about me. I miss what he did, and I miss doing those little things for him.

           

            The single rose he picks up for me on his way home from work.

            Volunteering to take the kids to the park because I’m tired.

            Helping me with dinner, or the dishes, without my asking.

            Listening about my bad day when he’s had one of his own.

           

            Holding me when I cry, though crying makes him uncomfortable.

            Building me a bookshelf, with his bonus, while I’m out of town.

            Taking him a glass of iced tea when he’s working outside.

            Stopping by his job unexpectedly to give him a hug and kiss.

            Putting a love note in his truck, dresser, or lunch sack.

            Cooking potatoes at almost every meal because he likes them.

           

Some of these things may not sound romantic, but thinking about them still warms my heart. To me, the unselfish acts of love are the most romantic actions possible. Anyone can ply you with flowers and chocolate. The selfless gestures of the heart show the true depth of our/their feelings.  

My husband was not the “romantic” type, but he knew how to touch my heart. He romanced me a thousand different ways by all the little things he did that said, I love you, just because you’re you.

Unselfish acts of service, without expectation of repayment, tend to evoke a wonderful and mysterious response of love from the heart of the receiver. That is Romance.

Music - When the words for romance escape us (Melissa Robbins)

I admit.  I struggled with this topic at first.  I couldn’t find the words.  Then, as I was listening to my writing playlist, the realization hit me.  What have men and women done for centuries when the words for romance fail them?  Music!  Receive a mix tape from a guy?  A pin from Pinterest had me laughing out loud.  “Sad?  Depressed?  Heartbroken?  Cheated on?  Treated badly by a man?  Don’t worry…There’s a Taylor Swift song for that.”  So here are some songs I listen to when I need help in the romance department of my stories.  Some on the list may surprise you.  Hope you can find them on Itunes. 

Raul Menendez Theme (Nino Precioso): Call of Duty Black Ops – Huh?  What does a military shoot up video game have to do with romance?  Technically, the song is about a soldier’s daughter, but the music has that tango vibe.  My character Connor, who learned pretty quick that a guy who can dance gets ALL the girls, tangoes with his girl Fran to this song.  What’s more romantic than a tango????

It’s Our Fight – Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon – What?  This is the song I was listening to when the idea for this post hit me.  Bet you didn’t know T3 was a romance, did ya?  Spoilers!  Near the end of the movie, Sam wants to go into the wrecked Chicago city controlled by the evil Decepticons.  Why?  To save his girl and stop the bad guys together!  This is the song playing in the background when he’s trying to get her back (with the help of special ops soldiers) and I just love the grandness of it.  What’s more romantic than a hero and heroine saving the day together?  Whether it’s in a plane or dodging bombing raids, Meris keeps up with Carrick without a problem.  So does Fran and Wren. 

Strength of a Thousand Men: Two Steps from Hell – My husband recommended this group.  Their instrumentals are epic with choirs and orchestras.  This is another one playing when my hero and heroine can save the day.  I can’t tell you why (I was a terrible musician), but it has this neat fallingness to it.   Let’s run and jump off a cliff together to get away from the bad guys.  Weird, huh?  Not that any of my characters have done that yet, but my money is on Connor to be the first.  Maybe Carrick.  

Can You See Jane?  Thor – Comic book guys think they are fooling us girls, but they like romance too.  I particularly like the fact that Thor’s girl is an astrophysicist.  However for me, this song from the soundtrack is hands down Connor and Fran’s theme.  Why?  It starts off sweet and melodious and then speeds up and becomes playful and fun.  Just like Connor and Fran. 

Just A Kiss: Lady Antebellum – Love this song!  This is such a Wren and Jack song and describes their relationship perfectly.  “Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight.  Just a touch of the fire burning so bright.  No I don’t want to mess this thing up.  I don’t want to push too far.  Just a shot in the dark that you just might be the one I’ve been waiting for my whole life.  So baby I’m all right, with just a kiss goodnight.”  Even the guy on the music video smiles like Jack.  Search for it on YouTube.  You won’t be sorry.

Heart of Courage: Two Steps from Hell – I’ll end with this song.  To me this is Carrick’s theme song.  “I’m going to kick bum, but even if we’re battle weary, my girl will hug me at the end of the book” sound. 

This is just a handful of the songs in my playlists.  So readers and music lovers, do you have romantic soundtracks to help with the writing?

Today, For Me, Romance Is... (Penny Rader)

http://bit.ly/1d5S89c -- Creative-Commons licensed content

The topic of blog this month is What Is Romance?

My answer this week will most likely differ next week.  Why?  I've been sick most of the week and that tends to skew my mind.  So, here's what romance means to me this week, not in any particular order:

• Cuddling, for cuddling's sake, without further expectations.
• Making sure the fan is on if I'm hot or off if I'm cold.
• Ditto for my snuggly blanket...on if cold, off it hot.
• At least poke me every couple hours to see if I need anything.
• Make sure I stay hydrated.
• Bring me a cold cloth for my head when I have a migraine.  Refreshen when it's warm and/or dry.
• Help me keep track of if/when I took my meds.
• Make sure the bathroom is stocked with soft tp.
• Don't make tacos for supper when I'm sick with tummy troubles.

Made that all about me, didn't I?  My selfish, whiny self came out with a bang.

Next week, when I'm feeling better, my definition of romance will probably read more like:

• Holding hands.
• Kissing hello and good-bye.
• "Just because" surprises.
• Doing chores your spouse despises.
• Cuddling and snuggling, without further expectations. 
• Secret smiles and shared memories.
• If one of us is out of town, calling to let the other know s/he arrived...and check in every day or so until s/he gets home.
• Watching a show you're not interested in just because your significant other is and you want to spend time with him/her.
• Remembering milestones.
• Being patient and kind to one another.
• Sticking together in good times and in bad.
• Cherishing one another.
• Listening.

Then again, maybe I have romance mixed up with love.  What do you think?  How are romance and love the same?  How do they differ?

http://bit.ly/1538nRt -- Creative-Commons licensed content
http://www.myrtlebeachphotography.org/

Romance: The Little Things

We all tend to think of romance as those big things.  Weddings come to mind first.  What better way to celebrate the love between two people?  Next come  Honeymoons, Valentine's Day, Anniversaries and all those things that have become big deals in our society.  Candy and flowers, hearts and cupids.  Those are the things we've been taught to think about when the word "romance" is mentioned.

I'll step forward and come clean.  I've been divorced for 13 years, after being married for 25 years, so romance hasn't been a part of my life for a long time.  To be really honest, it wasn't before, either.  And yet, I continue to write romance.  Why?  Because, after much thinking and soul searching, I still believe in happily-ever-afters.  They really are possible and happen more often than we realize.  People who understand romance will have more of it in their lives.

So what is romance?  It's the little things.  It's a special connection between two people that doesn't happen with many others.  It's a touch, a smile, an "I miss you," a pillow fluffed, a phone call or text message or note, just to say, "I'm thinking of you."  It's an understanding of ourselves and another person on a level that isn't often reached.

Romance involves the heart, not only the quickening beat of it when we see that special someone, but a peace and calm within us.  A special kind of happy.  It involves love and caring.  Romance is always there, even when we aren't experiencing it.  It isn't just the grand gestures, but the little ones.  A look, a sigh, a twinkle in the eye.  It's caring about another person.

Romance can happen at any age.  Children experience it with a first crush.  Teenagers then experience it at a higher level.  Young adults, mid-life adults and older adults sometimes get the hang of it.  It can be learned by watching how others--especially parents--interact, day to day.  Some people simply seem to be born with a romantic soul.

Do I miss romance?  Sometimes.  But writing romance keeps me in touch with it.  Writing it has given me a much better view of it, and if I should be lucky enough to see it in my own life, I'd grab it in a New York minute. *grin*

Here's to Romance!  And for all the romantics out there, August is Read-A-Romance Month.  Pick up a romance novel by your favorite author, and immerse yourself in romance.  It will make you smile. :)

Romancing the Stone --Age by Wilma aka Reese Mobley

Our topic this month is about romance and I’m betting that everyone who posts or comments has a different idea about what romance means to them.   It’s a personal feeling that falls along the same lines of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.   We recognize it when we read about it or see it on the movie screen but to define it in our own lives, well, that’s not as easy. 

To me, romance is all the little things that add up to one big thing.  The importance of the little things changes as we age and our relationships mature.  Before I got married the little things included getting a giant teddy bear in my car from a secret admirer or a token of affection from the boyfriend of the month.  Now, if a stranger left a stuffed creature in my car, I’d probably freak out.  Scratch that.  I’d be scared to death.         

My husband isn’t a particularly romantic guy.  He’s more stone age than Romancing the Stone.  Fred over the swoon-worthy Jesse.  That’s not to say he doesn’t have his moments, because he does.  Romance to us is being able to laugh at the little mishaps in life—rolling with the punches instead of obsessing over them.  He lets me hug our grandson first when he gets off the plane from Florida even though he wants to.  Sharing popcorn and watching TV together.  Saving his change for me so I can buy a pop from the machine at work.  Bringing me the good ice because I like it better.

Little things.

And for the record, my hubby of 31 years looks about as much like Fred Flintstone as I do Wilma.   

Hugs,

Reese

Romance...in Images [Penny Rader]

What is romance to you?  To me, it is a combination of the following:

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Get that will ya, sugar? By Reese Mobley

While Pat gave a wonderful, thought provoking list of her ideal man, my idea of romance tilts more to the service side of a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I love roses and Russell—Stover not so much Crowe, but I raised three kids, carted them, their friends and all their paraphernalia to their activities. Every day of their young lives. My kitchen functioned like a full-service cafeteria and my door was always open. While my husband slaved away at his job, I was the stay-at-home mom on the block and I loved it, but let’s be honest, at the end of the day, I was exhausted.

So here, in no specific order, is my list of romantic traits:

1. Getting up with the baby in the middle of the night.

2. Taking that last batch of cookies out of the oven while I finally managed a shower.

3. Unloading the dishwasher without being asked seventeen times.

4. Fixing dinner while I sewed together another Ninja Turtle costume.

5. Dragging the dumpster to the curb. Without being reminded tomorrow is trash day.

6. Killing any and all spiders.

7. Cleaning up the sticky red popsicle trail from the kitchen to the patio.

8. Putting his extra change in my pocket so I could buy a lifesaving Diet Dr. Pepper.

9. Using his Christmas bonus to buy new tires for my car instead of a new rod & reel.

10. Teaching the kids how to throw a football because their mom throws like a girl. :-)

11. Stepping on bugs after I leave the room so I don't have to hear the crunch.

12. Applying Calamine Lotion after a pack of wild chiggers made me the blue plate special.

13. Painting my toenails pink when my pregnant belly got too big for me to see them.

14. Filling my car up with gas when the red needle flirted with empty.

15. Running my car through a wash and spin cycle to remove the bird doo.

16. Inviting my widowed mother to dine out with us.

17. And then picking up the tab.

18. Sharing his slot machine winnings so I could play just a little bit longer.

19. Killing any and all spiders. (Repeat, I know-but so worth a second nod.)

20. Always opening my car door for me.

So there you have it. Any others you'd like to add to the list?

Hugs, Reese

Top 20 List

Patricia Davids here. Happy Feburary!
The month dedicated to ROMANCE.
The question of the month for this blog is, what does romance mean to me, or what do I find romantic?

I’ve come up with a list of 20 things I find romantic about a guy, fictional hero or otherwise. They are in no particular order. This is my list. You can agree or disagree. Feel free to post your feelings about any of the items that made my list or post your own list so I can see what I missed. Here goes.

1. Nice abs.
2. Nice arms.
3. Likes dogs, tolerates cats.
4. Like kids a lot.
5. He can sing. Doesn’t have to be great, just so he can carry a tune.
6. Loves horses, rides like he was born on one.
7. Likes fishing of any kind.
8. Drives a nice car or a great truck.
9. He opens a door for a woman.
10. He’s willing to share the cost of a meal with a woman.
11. He goes to church.
12. He’s not afraid to admit he is wrong.
13. Likes to wear boots. (cowboy, hiking, construction, any kind of boot)
14. He can fly a plane or a chopper.
15. Has an understated sense of humor.
16 Has an overblown sense of duty.
17. Likes to grill a steak.
18. Can start a fire with two sticks, neither of which is a match.
19. His smile makes the corners of his eyes crinkle and makes my heart skip a beat.
20. He knows how to kiss well enough to curl my toes.

That’s my top 20 list for a romantic man. I’m pretty sure he’s fictional, but if he isn’t, gee, I’d love to meet him.

I don't know the guy in the photo. I snatched it off the web, but he's close to perfect hero status. I wonder if he knows how to make fire with two sticks?