Sometimes You Just Have To...

What is it with February, anyway?  Sure, it's the month of hearts and flowers and candy, of dinner out with your sweetheart.  But if there's no sweetheart, or anyone remotely resembling one, there isn't a lot of significance in Valentine's Day.  And other than that, there isn't much else to the month, barring Presidents' Day, to speak highly of.  Cloudy skies with no rain don't float my boat.

Yes, I'm grumbling.  My To Do list, like Joan's, seems to be breeding as I sleep.  Get two things done on the list, then three more appear.  It started in January and is running well into February.  And there are still some from January waiting to be finished and marked off.

Writing?  Ha!  How about revising and polishing?  First a new book and now two books being considered for publishing.  While I don't mind the R&P, there are new characters trying to push their way into my conscious mind...as opposed to both my sub-and un-conscious mind, where they really should stay until I bid them to enter.  As Steve Martin used to say:  But NO-O-O-O-O!

On Wednesday, my youngest daughter and I took my granddaughter (her niece) to the zoo.  It was Payton's first zoo visit, and the weatherman had predicted a sunny and beautiful 60+ degree day.  Uh, no.  It was cloudy and overcast, with a bite in the breeze and 10 degrees lower than expected.  We didn't let that deter us.  We had a lovely (though tiring) time, and it was nice to take the day off...until arriving home to yet another To Do to add to the list.

Goals were set well before January 1, but the opportunity to work on them is affected by many people, some who really shouldn't even be involved.  But so be it.  I try to take each new "task" as a challenge, telling myself that I can do it, in spite of the metal shelf in the utility room falling over yesterday morning, the granddaughter dumping water, then Pepsi on the floor, just for the sheer joy of it this morning, plumbing problems, and the always-present family drama.  Four daughters=drama to the hilt.

But it's February.  That first rush of the new year has worn off, as we begin to settle into the rest of the year.  With 10 1/2 months to go, there's plenty of time to make it a good one.  Plenty of time to reach and maybe even surpass those goals.  Yes, it'll take some work, and hopefully a smaller list of things clamoring for attention, but anything is possible, right?

So whatever doldrums might settle over us, like dark clouds on a chilly, February day, sometimes you just have to SMILE, take a deep breath, and say, "Yes, I can do this, and it WILL get better!"

How long is it until April arrives?

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE!

Questions and Answers by J Vincent

Pat Davids’ blog posed several questions to consider as 2013 begins which I’ve condensed in italics below.  Such introspection can lead to confusion at first but then to surprising answers, at least to me when I came up with them.  i also realized my answers would probably change according to how they struck me at a later time.  But for now this is what I have.

What is your value?  Not what do you value, but what is your value? You are valuable. Look inside and see if you can give a voice to that value.

This was a puzzle.  Surely our value lies in what we value? I value hard work, and part of my value is that I am a hard worker. I admire loyalty so part of my value is that I am loyal to a fault. But then I reconsidered.  During the past six months I have thought I had little value. I have been very ill and slow to recover with new problems cropping up in an ever continuous line. My inability to do almost anything made me believe I had no value.  But after some thought I came to a different conclusion.  Do I consider people with handicaps, of whatever source, lacking in value? No. If they have value then so must I. Perhaps my value is different from when I am well but it still exists. I still touch lives. I make people smile; I make people care. I provide a means for their value to increase through the ways they help me. Yes, I will always have value.

What is your strength? What is the most indelible part of you? What makes you tick? Search your heart. What makes you strong?

My strength has always been my persistence, perseverance or whatever name you want to call it. My family would say it’s plain old German bullheadedness, but it has held me in good stead through life so far.  It’s why I have survived my many health problems.  It’s why I have written as many books as I have.

What do you enjoy? Just you. The New Year will be dull and lifeless if you don't make time for what you enjoy. Pick a date and mark your calendar for some you time. 

Pat says these change and how right she is. Macrame, crocheted jewelry (Long ago I made and sold enough crocheted rings and necklaces to buy my first clothes dryer!), and collecting snowmen were once passions of mine.  A current passions is quilt making as you saw via a previous blog.  

One writing passion is for some of my characters. We have people we love and some we don’t. Same is true for characters. I am very fond of all my heroes in my Honour series but I am fascinated by my villain, Donatien.  He has shocked me by how much he has evolved from his first appearance. I’m the author, I mumble now and then, I should know exactly what my characters are up to at all times.  It’s always seemed weird to me that I don’t and that they can surprise me. Learning the rest of my hero’s stories and this villain’s is the most probable reason I will finished the Honour series.

What is your weakness? What keeps you from following your passion? What holds you back from accepting your full value? This is about you. This is about finding out what makes you tick.

Pat’s blog made me realize I’ve been wandering goalless through my life the past year. I had sporadic fits of activity--writing and otherwise. But there was no real direction to any of it. Part of my weakness is just that--physical weakness. This is often compounded by the effects of the various meds I take. In December I was still exhausted all the time, unable to make decisions, didn’t want to get up, etc.  I thought depression and stopped taking one of my newest meds that got me through the crisis this fall but had depression/suicide as a major side effect. That improved matters but the exhaustion and a few other symptoms remained.  A blood test showed I was severely deficient in Vitamin D. It is amazing how much a weekly dosage of 50,000 units has changed me. I actually feel like me again and that it is possible to set goals and attain them. But the above is too simple.

Fear of failure, lack of confidence, and procrastination also play a part. Combine these with the fact that my priorities changed as my health declined. Searching for answers to Pat’s questions helped me focus on what is important to me. Only time will tell if writing is still a passion. No matter what, as Pat said so well, “To know and understand you is the key to finding inner peace and happiness.”

Wishing you all a Happy and Successful New Year!