Passive vs Active

As any grown up girl knows, there's a time for passive and a time for active. Each has its own pleasures and responsibilities.

In the world of relationships, someone has to have something being done to them--that's passive and the someone is the object of the action. Another has to be the one doing the action--that's the active.

Why do we have both active and passive if active is supposed to be so desirable? Because, as any grown up girl knows, all active makes for a very tired girl and is only half the fun.

Active makes the story accelerate and increases the pace. The pace is the speed of reading and comprehending. Passive makes the story decelerate and slows the pace. As the pace slows and the speed of the reading relaxes so does the brain. This slowdown allows a more contemplative feeling in the story. According to theory, optimum reading has a split in the percentages of each. Word, a program often used by writers, will keep track of this for you. All you have to do is turn on that option. The split in percentage is kept as part of the readability of an particular piece of writing. Readability is also used to determine the optimum reading level of a piece of writing for a particular audience. Readability statistics can be checked on a sentence, paragraph, or any size piece of writing.

How do you know if a writer has overdone the active portion of a story? Because you, as the reader, feel mentally breathless as if you've been running. Think back. Have you experienced that in your pleasure reading or your own editing? Think about slowing down. Let portions of the story be savored. Pacify our passion for passive.

Here's a bit of mixed. Think about what the writer intended the reader to feel.

A small whisper of sound came from the underbrush behind him.

She had followed him!

A line on his control snapped.

He swore a string of words containing all of the wild frustration he held. Sparkles danced before his eyes as he ran out of breath. He knew leaders weren’t supposed to harm the ones they led, but he could see how they could be driven to it. What kind of leader was he to get himself in this position?

He focused furiously on the puny scuff mark he’d made on the tree—determined to contain himself completely before he turned around. He knew she was behind him…keeping him in sight. He felt a heated ache blooming up the back of his neck and head to match the pounding in his temples. He was going to have to….

Past and Present Tense (Rox)

There are so many things we learn as we move along the path of writing.  Along with making sure our writing remains as active as possible, there's also POV, which we've covered, along with the choice of first or third person and past or present tense.  It's enough to make a new writer's head spin!

Romance novels are more likely to be written in third person past tense, with the POV in the heroine's or the heroine and hero's POV.  A third POV sometimes is seen in romantic suspense.  Past tense is very often chosen for most fiction, although not always. 

What is Past and Present tense and what's the difference?  Tense refers to the way in which verbs are used. 

• I walk to the store to buy a dress. (present)
• I walked to the store to buy a dress. (past)

I've almost always written in past tense, and most of what I read is past tense, also.  But lately I've been reading out of genre and have come across some present tense writing.  I recently attempted to read a YA novel that was written in first person present tense.  (As a side note, the majority of YAs are written in first person, as well as past tense.  The focus is on the teen in the story and his/her reaction to people and events going on around him/her, not on the why's or the emotions of others.)  I didn't get far into the book before I put it aside.  I suspected it was the first person present tense that put me off.

But was it?  I just finished the adult novel Summer Sisters by Judy Blume.  (I'm sure most everyone recognizes that author!)  I was well into it when I noticed that at least two different writing styles were being used.  When I'd finished, I took a closer look at how the book was written.  The prologue is written in first person present tense.  I hadn't even noticed it.  The rest of the book appears to be written in third person past tense, with short portions (a page or less) written in first person present tense of other characters.

Confused?  I never was, which shows how well written the book is.  And I've learned a few lessons.  First, I may go back and try that YA book I put down.  Second, it pays to read outside of my genre.  Third, I'm blown away by the talent of Judy Blume and so many others and am grateful to them for their wonderfully written stories.

If you're interested in reading more about verb tense and writing present and past tense, check out these links:

Precise Edit (blog post)


Purdue Owl One of my favorite writing resources for grammar and punctuation.

University of Richmond Writing Center, Writer's Web: Verbs: Past Tense? Present?

Passive to Active Voice Quiz Answers by J Vincent

I’ve paid much more attention to passive and active voice since I wrote the blog and this quiz. Hope it helps you too.

1. His hair was cut by a professional since it had been scorched in a fire.
A professional cut his hair since it had scorched in a fire.

2. The Doctor’s Blessing was written by Patricia Davids.
Patricia Davids wrote The Doctor’s Blessing. The original sentence puts more emphasis on Pat’s name and there is nothing wrong with that.


3. Last night the Wingnuts were told of their missing the playoffs by the manager.
Last night the manager told the Wingnuts of their missing the playoffs.

4. After all the arguing was over, the plan for the Boat House had been approved by the City Commission.
After all the arguing was over the City Commission approved the plan for the Boat House.

5. An F4 tornado hit nearby and destroyed several homes.
This sentence is already in the active voice.

6. After a bout of rough housing a foul was called by one of the refs.
One of the refs called a foul after a bout of rough housing.

7. The solution to the problem was quickly learned by the student, but it was also quickly forgotten by her.
The student quickly learned and then quickly forgot the solution to the problem.

8. Contestants in the game were asked about their qualifications to play.
There’s nothing wrong with the passive use in this sentence. Who asked the question is not particularly important.


9. For several days Robert was taken care of by his aunt.
His aunt took care of Robert for several days. The original version put more emphasis on Robert than it does his aunt and that’s okay.


10. The girl was shocked by the language in the movie.
The movie’s language shocked the girl. If you wish to emphasis that the girl was shocked as opposed to the effect itself or the source the passive is okay.

Passive Voice by J Vincent

This topic sent me back to the language classes I’ve taken. French but in particular the Latin which relies heavily on an understanding of grammar. At the end of the blog I’ve placed a link to a good site on Passive Voice which may clear up what I’ve muddled for you. I’m concentrating on passive voice since understanding it enables you to more easily spot passive writing and edit it, when needed, into active voice.

In the active voice the verb is directly connected to the subject. Mel threw the ball. In passive the subject doesn’t “do or be” but is acted upon . The ball was thrown by Mel.

Another way of saying this is that you take the direct object (receiver of the action in my first example) and make it the subject as in my second example.

Passive writing is using some form of the “to be” verb: is, are, was, were, have, had, have been, is being etc. alone or with other verbs We are trained not to employ the passive voice in our writing but there are legitimate uses for it. Such as when it is important to draw attention to the thing being acted on. (The pine trees in Colorado are being ravaged by the pine beetle blight.—using active voice would emphasize the pine beetles.) OR when the subject/doer is not important such as in technical or scientific writing. (I heated the coal to release carbon dioxide. — Coal is heated to release carbon dioxide.)

Pardon the garmmar jargon but only verbs that are transitive can be changed to passive and vise versa. A verb is “transitive” if it has a direct object. A direct object answers the question who? or what? about the verb. Remember Mel threw the ball. Threw what? Ball answers the question and is the direct object of threw.

Some verbs cannot have objects. The verb “have” is one of these. We can say “I have an apple. but cannot say An apple has me. Have therefore is called intransitive.

Often doing is better than reading so here’s a quiz to take. I’ll post my take on the answers with explanations where necessary tomorrow.

Rewrite the following sentences changing passive voice to active. NOTE that some of the sentences don’t have passive voice or are alright or better with the passive.

• 1 His hair was cut by a professional since it had been scorched in a fire.



• 2 The Doctor’s Blessing was written by Patricia Davids.



• 3 Last night the Wingnuts were told of their missing the playoffs by the manager.



• 4 After all the arguing was over, the plan for the Boat House had been approved by the City Commission.



• 5 An F4 tornado hit nearby and destroyed several homes.



• 6 After a bout of rough housing a foul was called by one of the refs.



• 7 The solution to the problem was quickly learned by the student, but it was also quickly forgotten by her.



• 8 Contestants in the game were asked about their qualifications to play.



• 9 For several days Robert was taken care of by his aunt.



• 10 The girl was shocked by the language in the movie.

The use of active voice makes your writing more forceful, invigorating and action filled. It is usually the best choice but being aware of the uses of the passive can broaden your writing skills. Remember I'll post answers tomorrow.

Writing Center Univ of NC Passive Voice site

P & A V quickie

Hey, Reese Mobley here wishing all my fellow readers and writers a happy September! Are you ready for an entire month of P & A V? I know that sounds like medical terminology or an appetizer at an overpriced restaurant or even something naughty and way more interesting than it really is. But, and this is a big but, knowing when to use Passive or Active Voice is vital to the flow of your manuscript.

One way to see how often you use a passive voice is to type the word WAS into your search/find option and click find next. How many times does the word WAS precede an action word? It’s okay to have a few, just don’t let them take over your manuscript.

Wrong: He was leaving before his wife.

Right: He left before his wife.

Wrong: She was following him to the jewelry store.

Right: She followed him to the jewelry store.

Wrong: She was watching her husband while he was buying an expensive diamond necklace.

Right: She watched her husband buy an expensive diamond necklace.

Wrong: He was planning on giving the diamond necklace to his girlfriend.

Right: The cheater planned to give the diamond necklace to his trampy girlfriend.

Wrong: He was going to ask his lovely wife for a divorce.

Right: She filed for a divorce from the jerk.

Wrong: Her lawyer was going to help her sue for custody of the necklace.

Right: She sued for divorce and custody of the diamond necklace.

Wrong: Her single, attractive lawyer was going to help her forget all about her husband.

Right: Her single, attractive lawyer helped her forget about the cheating husband.

Very Right: They sold the necklace and sailed off into the sunset.

The End.

Hugs,

Reese

Active vs Passive

Pat Davids here.
Yikes, I missed my blog date. I was passive, not active. My bad.

Active vs Passive is easy to understand when we are talking about people but when it refers to the written sentence the meaning can be a bit murky.

What is passive voice? In most sentences there is a subject performing an action.
An example would be: John fired the gun.
"John" is the subject of the sentence. He performs an action.

In a passive sentence, the subject is acted upon rather than being the one performing the action. An example would be: The gun was fired by John.

Happily, my Word program throws a squiggly green line under sentences such as the one above to let me know I’m being passive.

Verbs in the passive voice have two parts: some form of the verb “to be” and a past participle form of the action verb. In my example: (was fired.)

You may choose to use the passive voice in order to emphasize one thing over another. In the second example, the gun (rather than John) becomes the most important component of the sentence.

Passive voice should be used sparingly–only when it can't be avoided. In most instances the passive construction is longer, clunkier, and more vague as you can see by the example above.The use of active voice over passive voice is often a matter of word economy and simplicity. If you can say something with fewer words, you probably should.

Make your words work for you. Active verbs push hard and passive verbs tug fitfully. Using an active verb helps make each sentence more vivid and precise.

Have I made it clear as mud?

Here is another example:
Active: Pat writes a blog.
Passive: A blog was written by Pat

Try your hand at an active vs passive sentence.

News from WARA

If you haven't noticed, we've had some new bloggers join us. Please welcome Tina, Elaine, Melissa, Lori and Patty! Our blogging schedule has also changed. We'll be posting new blog posts on even days each month. The schedule as to who will be blogging when is listed on the right. We're also hoping to have a few guest bloggers as time goes on.

Thank you to everyone who has visited and read our blogs and to those who've also commented. We hope you've found something you like and maybe even learned something new.

This month, our topic will be Active vs. Passive writing. In October we'll be discussing Hooks, and in November our topic will be Turning Points. We hope you'll visit often!