It’s funny that I am asked this type of question, since I am stagnate at the moment. My motivation for writing has filtered slowly out my proverbial window and flown away. That being said, I still write every day, but it’s been in my head only.
How is this possible? If I have lost the motivation, how can I still write?
My life is so complex right now as I wear the many hats of wife, mother, teacher, club sponsor of numerous groups in school and a leader for a freshmen team. Coming home every day to fix dinner, complete the usual routine and grade papers saps any other creative gene begging to be released from my rather hectic life.
The stories are there. They continually churn within my psyche, swirling and diving in and out of the deep recesses of my imagination, but they haven’t fully developed into a living, breathing manuscript. I write every day – just not on pen and paper. Not lately.
Oh, I’ve written. I have several beginnings to stories and each cease around chapter three or four. They wait in anticipation in my frigid file cabinet, begging for a much needed transfusion of meaty verbs and decorative adjectives. There are times I walk past my office and pause, as if I hear the cry of “Stop! Pay attention to me! Save me from this dark chasm and finish me off!”
As any passive, unsympathetic observer, I refuse to get involved. I ignore the anguished calls that beckon me to re-discover my muse. With a shake of my head, I turn away and head into the direction of one of my numerous roles.
Why do I write? Because the ability to create a world where good triumphs over evil, the hero gets the girl or the heroine saves her man has been a time old yearning of all human beings: the need for a happy ending and love saving all.
I don’t write because I want to be famous or rich, yet that would be a nice perk. I don’t write because I want to impress my family or friends. I don’t write because I want to be published like several of my writer club friends.
I write because I love it and I write for me. No one else.
It will happen again. One sunny morning I shall awake with the passion to sit at my computer and finish one of my numerous stories that is desperate for my return.
I write, because it’s who I am.
5 comments:
The struggle between the desire to and the actual writing are constant at least for me. As you say the stories are always there begging to be written. There are many phases in a writer's life and I've come to accept that at times not writing is one of them. It's a complex process and I pray your stories one day get completed just as I pray mine will.
Tina,
The time to write will come when the time is right.
I wanted to write a book for as long as I can remember, but the time to write didn't come for me until my daughter moved out, my husband retired, and I gave up being part of the neonatal transport team.
Don't despair, let the stories germinate in your fertile mind. When the time is right, you'll find time to write and your heroes, heroines and villians will spill out onto the pages and delight readers everywhere.
Joan and Pat: thank you so much! Your comments are very supportive and uplifting!
After I wrote my article, I actually wrote out my two character sketches on a story I had pitched to a publishing house back in 1997! I remember the lady saying, "Oh I like that idea! Send me a query." She gave me her card.
Guess what? Didn't do it. I had just had Sydney and I was very overwhelmed! Ahh...the missed moments.
Oh well!
Tina, writing is writing. It doesn't matter where it is. I've a drawer full of starts. The biggest problem I have with them is that I know how the story ends so they aren't interesting to me any more.
My older daughter tells me I'm wrong to tell someone how they should feel because feelings belong to the owner. However, that acknowledged, I think your busy life is fodder for later when you do have time to finish a story in this dimension. Don't feel guilty. Feel blessed. Busy lives don't come to everyone.
Just another perspective. However, if you do manage to squeeze out some words on paper now and then, imagine the awe of everyone who knows you and are looking forward to the stories you'll share.
Tina, I totally get where you're coming from.
I hope your passion (and mine!) return soon. :D
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