Me? Myself? I? (Penny Rader)
Earlier this month Pat challenged us with tough questions to ask ourselves.  I'm struggling to come with answers.  Here's what I've got so far.  Maybe you can help me come up with some answers.  Funny how easy it for the negative thoughts to take over.

What is your value?

The voices of the bullies in my past immediately chime in, "Value?  You have no value!  You're fat.  You're ugly.  No one wants to be your friend."   Could also be the Catholic in me.    You know, thou shalt not, the Seven Deadlies, and all that jazz.

So...I try to shove those voices aside and figure out what my value is.

Still thinking.   Could use a Penny version of It’s a Wonderful Life about now to see if anyone’s better off for my having been here. (Surely I'm not the only one who as wondered this.)

Okay.  Here are a few:
  • My kids.  They brighten this world, and their kids in turn.
  • I have kept a roof over my family's head for a number of years now.
  • I like sharing information with others.   
  • I can sometimes make people laugh and, hopefully, cheer them up for a bit.  

What is your strength? 

Aye-yi-yi.   This is as nearly as hard as the value question.
  • Patience?  The ability to wait without fidgeting…much.
  • I used to think I could get along with nearly everyone but I’ve been proven wrong.  Still, I try.
  • I also try to have a positive attitude.
  • I can talk your ear off…which can be good if you’re in need of a distraction.

What do you enjoy?

This one’s easy:
  • Naps
  • Reading 
  • Movies
  • TV
  • Crocheting
  • Learning
  • Laughing
  • Lazy days off
  • Cuddling with babies

What is your passion? 
  • I love losing myself in stories…movies, books, etc. 
  • I also want to make a difference.   I've been crocheting up a storm the last several years.  The feel of the yarn in my hands soothes me; the completed scarves and hats fill me with a sense of accomplishment…I hope they find their way to someone in need of their warmth and comfort. 

What is your weakness?

Another easy question.   Shouldn't that be plural?

In no particular order:
  • Procrastination – I am a pro at this.  
  • Getting words on the page – I am not a pro at this.
  • Fear...of falling flat on my face ...of the words not coming ...of characters not talking to each other, let alone me; fear of failing my kids, my family, my friends, my bosses.
  • I rarely (as in almost never) cook anymore.
  • I am an exceptionally bad housekeeper.
  • Organized…Not!
  • Laziness...lack of energy...just flat out not feeling 'good' for more years than I can count.
  • People pleaser – hate, hate, hate conflict.  Want everyone happy and in harmony.
  • In a crisis, all the energy leaves my body and I feel an overwhelming need for a nap. Or a dark hole somewhere.  Maybe even a nap in the dark hole.
  • Consistently inconsistent.  This post is a perfect example.  
  • Did I mention I can talk your ear off?  

Oh, do you hear her?  Violet, the Dowager Countess on Downton Abbey just said, “Stop whining…”  So I shall.
How about you?  Can you answer Pat’s questions?  I’d love to learn more about you.


Niecey Roy - Romance Author said...

Oh dear...I'm a proctrastinator, as well. It's definitely gotten me into some trouble in my 31 years! As far as who benefits from my being here on this wonderful planet, definitely my kids. I've made it my vow and life's mission to give them the very best life I possibly can, and to never spend a day doubting my love and how precious they are! I've become such a better person since my kids have come into my life. I am so very thankful for them!

Lisa Hannah Wells said...

Procrastination for me is a big problem. I had the nagging "you're no good, never will be anything, no worth" parents that cause me to become emotionally crippled at times. I can still hear my characters talking, screaming and begging me to work, but I just want to crawl in that hole and sleep for another year, especially after a rejection. Then again, I am always a great listener, always trying to help others and desperately trying to achieve my dream. Value? I'm God's child and that makes me more valuable than anything I know.

Penny Rader said...

Well said, Niecey. I hope my kids have never doubted my love for them. Thanks for dropping by.

Penny Rader said...

Oh, Lisa, being God's child should've been at the top of my value list. [head hanging]. I hope you do achieve your dream.

Renee Charles said...

WOW...some tough questions! Kudos to you Penny for having the courage to do so in public. ~Renee Charles

Penny Rader said...

LOL, Renee. You have no idea how close I came to deleting this post this morning. Thanks for commenting!

Debo said...

Thank you, Penny! You helped remind me that the way we see ourselves is usually NOT AT ALL the way others see us. I've always thought of you as organized. I know you have been for WARA. You are the keep of our history, our legacies. I've always thought that you had a good perspective on what's really important. You are the soft place for a lot of people to fall.
I learned a long time ago that every trait has a positive and negative side. Procrastination can mean patient. Disorganized can mean free-spirited. Keep looking on the bright side to find your true value!

Nina said...

Oh Penny, Where to start? You are one of the best people I've EVER encountered at customer service!! I used to wait to make an order at the book store until I knew you would be there because then I'd know I'd get something I really wanted. You always suggested books I loved! This entire group of supportive people, WARA would not exist as a group without your putting us together. Duh. A difference? Are you crazy too? Because of you, and then adding me to this group, my life has developed dimensions I don't have enough room to write about! And, by the way, you aren't plain enough for comment. You are like that dress that hangs funny on the hanger, but is wonderful on. You see yourself as just hanging there, but others see your warmth and personality that way outshines most people's presence.
Value? More than most and that is without adding all of those wonderful items of research and links you always give us. I NEED those.

Uh. About those piles...I'm a recovering piler and am on step three. More in a later blog....

Reese Mobley said...

What honest answers. Thank you for sharing. We share a lot of the same traits. Must be a writer thing.

Penny Rader said...

Debo, I never thought of procrastination and disorganization as having positive sides. Thanks for the boost!

Penny Rader said...

Nina, you always make me laugh and feel better. Thank you for that.

Penny Rader said...

Thanks, Reese, for reminding me that I am a writer. It's been hard to say that out loud lately because I haven't done much of it.

Joan Vincent said...

A fellow crocheter as well as fellow writer--never realized that. It is soothing and instant gratification, well, almost instant, when you crochet. I have a box of doilies the kids will throw out some day. A few I developed patterns for--love that challenge. It is good to remember what others reflect back to us about ourselves. You are full of caring and giving--both strengths!

Nina Sipes said...

Oh, Penny, so many people only see the negative such as a hair in their muffin, when they could concentrate on the fact, they've got a great muffin! We don't just accentuate the positive, sometimes we have to do a scavenger hunt for it. (Especially at my place!)