The Elusive Conflict—or why can’t they talk it out?

There are many misconceptions about conflict. In our world of writing romance, a classic conflict is considered to be between two people with opposing deep-seated beliefs. The famous character arc is built upon the premise that two people in an impending relationship will change and grow, overcoming their internal beliefs, and cement their relationship at the end as the committed couple we want them to be.

There is a problem with this kind of tunnel thinking.

It leaves out all of the other delicious conflict that flickers between humans.

Delicious conflict?

Yup.

Where? How? No one sent me the memo! (The frustrated writer cries into her….)

Conflict One

The conflict between men and women is as old as the two sexes. THEY DON’T THINK ALIKE. This bypasses the character arc altogether as it has nothing to do with learned issues. Here’s an example: The relationship is new. The guy wants to hold on to the newness and surround the woman. He is enthralled with the wonder of it. He is thinking on the here and now and maybe the next hour. He’s on short time. The woman asks him if she should book her vacation time to match his—three months away. He looks stunned. She immediately asks him if he thinks the relationship is a one night stand. He looks stunned and says something like no. She wanted reassurance that there is a real relationship building and not merely lust or fun—something more. Women think in long time. At the stunned look on his face, they end up in a tiff with her saying something like ‘I’m fine’. However, the tight jaw and clipped words don’t match. Everyone, including him, knows, she ain’t fine. He’s in trouble and with experience with women, he will conclude that is a trap that women set. She will conclude that men are only looking for one thing. Many promising relationships get shot in the head at this stage. This is conflict and it can last between two people for quite a while. Will it carry the entire book? No. But it can be a crucial element adding depth to a story. Friends and family of the character can weigh in on this one too.

Conflict Two

Family. Everyone has some. Some have a lot. A soldier has his buddies. Those are family too. Their needs, wants, desires, and unwelcome interference—sometimes by their mere presence or absence can cause conflict. Babies in books are a popular theme. They too cause conflict. Whose baby is it? When was it made? Is the other person going to cause difficulty? How about a loving interfering mother or as in some popular books, the grandparents causing our character’s grief? Suppose a dad won’t let a daughter become part of the family business—like chasing bail jumpers. She decides to start her own firm. Conflict with family can be loving, annoying, judgmental, violent, or even cold. None of which changes a character’s internal belief, necessarily, but adds dimension and color to a story.

Conflict Three

Money. Everyone has some. Some have much. Some have little. However, the attitudes surrounding money can add conflict. For example, maybe our hero/heroine has been taught all their life to attain a certain position in the family firm. Deviation from the plan means there is no money. Conflict comes as the characters try to figure out how to keep, hold, make, steal, give, or burn money. Money comes in many forms—cash, bonds, stocks, land, machinery, etc. This too has nothing necessarily to do with internal story arcing.

Conflict Four

Job. Everyone has a position in this world. Whether it pays a salary or like a herdsman grows his flock, a job is what a person does. Even volunteering, although payless, is a job. People not only have opinions about those, but also have to do them. Doing isn’t necessarily a part of the character arc, but it offers problems in delivery. A cattleman cannot leave during a snowstorm to attend something. As soon as possible he has to hunt his herd down. Finding all of them, feed and water them, as well as bring them home. It doesn’t matter how he feels about his job. He has to do it. Jobs conflict with people all the time.

Conflict Five

The villain. No character arc there. The villain gets to do or think what he likes to mess up the plans of others.

Conflict Six

Nature. Forest fire. Snow storm. Flood. Desert. Rock falls. Sunburn. Boat sinking. No amount of character arcing is going to affect these little babies one iota. Don’t think this is conflict? How the characters fight and overcome these obstacles is the nature of these conflicts—same as overcoming other issues.

Conflict Seven

Animals. You could consider them nature I guess, but a snake or spider in the right place seems different. Horse stompings, pigs running amok, attack dogs, spitting lamas, you name it, things can be quite a mess. Then there is the dog shelter where twelve dogs need attention. New kittens are found in a guy’s back seat when he left the window down on his corvette overnight. Baby skunks under the house. You haven’t see conflict until you’ve tried to wash honey off a cat in a shower. They can climb tile. Been there, got the scars to prove it.

Conflict Eight

Paperwork. The world runs on records. Suppose your character isn’t who the records say they are. That is another hurtle to face. Suppose the records say your character is two people?

Conflict Nine

Clothes. Tell me you haven’t heard about how she doesn’t think he owns anything without a hole in it. Tell me you haven’t heard about how he thinks that she shouldn’t dress in such see-through blouses now that she’s dating him. Yet clothes and how we feel about them is so basic this one is often overlooked.

Ok, I’m stopping here. There are conflicts all around us. Keep your eyes and ears open. Some of you will think these are plot devices. Conflict is conflict. None of these issues are going to be solved just because the hero and heroine sit down to talk about it. These conflicts aren’t going to go away just because a character took a growth spurt in his character arc. They aren’t large, but can be emotional. Some of these conflicts and how the characters react to them are strong enough to carry a story. Others can be small enough to add flavor or variety to stories, adding interest to those sagging middle pages.

My personal opinion is that there is no such thing as a character arc. Did I hear gasps? I think people do not grow and change. I believe that whatever is in a character or person is there all along and circumstances come along to reveal the hidden parts of a character. These hidden parts are usually hidden from the character. We never know, until we are tested, what is in us. This opinion is not the current norm in writing romances.

More on conflict can be found at Wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict

You might like to use this little fun thing to discover your own or your character’s conflict style.

http://e-courses.cerritos.edu/anagao/Conflict_Scale.pdf

Happy conflicting.