This is an excerpt from my current WIP, "Eggs, Mama, Eggs Fo Me."
Why did you marry her Nathan?
"Because, because I loved her."
Do you not love her now?
Nathan looked at the crying woman before him. "Do I? God I don’t really know."
If you don’t know that you love her, why should you get to sleep with her? Is she only here to meet your needs? Love is based on commitment, on your covenant with another person. Has that covenant been revoked? Do the words, for better or for worse, still apply?
Nathan felt a blush of shame rising in his face. "Am I so selfish that that’s the only reason I haven’t left her, because we always had great sex? Is that my ultimate goal in staying together, my physical gratification? What a pig, no wonder she stays on the couch."
“Dad, Dad we’re done eating, do we have to clean off the table?” Nate called from the kitchen door.
Nathan turned around, “Yes, Nate, I would appreciate it. Is Zack still sleeping?”
“Yeah. Why’s mom crying again?”
“She’s just tired, I’m going to put her to bed and then I’ll come to help.”
“Ok”
Nathan gently picked Sara up in his arms, “I’m sorry Sara.”
She scrubbed her face like a tired child, “Why? Why should you be sorry? I’m the one acting like a big baby. Where are you taking me?”
“I’m sorry for everything and I’m taking you to bed. You don’t have to worry, I’ll wake you up when I come in and you can switch with William.”
Surprise filled Sara’s face when she finally realized he meant his bed. He stood her up next to it and folded the covers back for her. When she looked so confused he gently sat her down, knelt on the floor and removed her old tennis shoes. His hands lingered on her bare feet as he rolled her socks off and Sara struggled to draw in air.
“Do you want to sleep with your jeans on or would you be more comfortable with them off?”
Nathan watched her face expectantly for an answer as he absently rubbed her feet. Her eyes held surprise and something he couldn’t quite identify, “Sara?”
She gave an involuntary shiver that stirred the fiercely restrained passions within Nathan’s body. His eyes darkened as his pupils dilated and his hand slid up Sara’s ankle of its own accord. She reached out and gently touched his face and this time her whispered name was an impassioned plea, “Sara.”
Before he gave himself time to think Nathan leaned in and gently brushed his lips on hers. He tilted back slightly to gauge her reaction when she suddenly pulled his head forward and met his lips with a violent passion of her own. He groaned as he gathered her to him, her body fitting within his arms with the ease of much practice. They shared kiss after kiss, their breathing becoming ragged and shallow, their bodies crying for the relief they had long been denied.
All thought of the outside world had left Nathan, only the woman in his arms was real and the cry of “Dad, Dad” was slow to penetrate. He felt the change in Sara as he slowly realized that Nate was calling him. They reluctantly pulled apart and Sara laid her head upon his chest and clung to him as Nate called once more.
He had to clear his throat before he could respond, “Yes son, what is it?” Nate’s beet red face peeked around the bedroom door cautiously, “Um Dad, Zack’s up and he pooped again.”
Nathan’s sigh could be heard clear across the room. “Ok, I’m coming.” He looked into Sara’s eyes and saw embarrassment as well as regret as he stood and pulled her up off the floor. He kissed her forehead, turned and quickly walked away, “Get some sleep Sara.”
* * *
Nathan quietly carried William into their bedroom and laid him down opposite Sara. When he walked back to her side, his eyes fastened on the jeans heaped upon the floor, as if she had just stepped out of them and crawled into bed. He felt his desire stirring and briefly entertained the idea of seeing what would happen if he pushed her a little.
Love does not behave unseemly by being rude or pushy Nathan. Love does not seek its own selfish will.
The sound of Nathan’s slowly expelled breath mingled with the soft tones of Sara and William as they peacefully slept. I know Lord, I’m sorry to be selfish but it’s not like she isn’t interested. If Nate hadn’t interrupted us, I don’t know what might have happened. I only want to see if she could be persuaded to finish what we started.
Is this really the time to rekindle your physical relationship with your wife? Two days of sick kids, she’s exhausted, you’re tired and nothing has been resolved. Have you worked through any of your past issues yet? Will you stay motivated to do so if you now get what you want? Are you willing to do what is best for the long run Nathan or are you content to go back to the pattern that got you into this mess in the first place?
Nathan stood in the darkness of their bedroom, gazing at the face of the woman he once loved with everything in him. The light filtering in from the hallway erased all signs of fatigue, worry and age from her face. His body and heart fought to dominate his spirit, to control the outcome and dictate his next action but in the end he realized the truth. He still loved this woman, with all of his heart, and he had hurt her enough for one lifetime.
We’ll do this your way Lord. I’ve already done it my way and look where it got us. Please just help me Lord, help me wait until you say it’s right.
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7 comments:
This is very powerful, Becky. Hooked me. Great use of words and structure. Tell us more about Nathan and Sara.
Great job, Becky. Would love to hear more about this story. Thanks for sharing with us.
Thank you Joan and Penny for dropping in. It would be very difficult for me to condense this but I'll try and give a little background.
Nathan and Sara have been married for 10 yrs and have 5 kids aged 9 and under. They have been estranged for 6 months due to a severe depression of Sara's. One morning she wakes up and has amnesia. In order to not frighten the kids she pretends to know who she is, who they are, and what is going on. At this point in the story, Nathan does not know of her memory loss. He only knows that she is returning to the woman he married instead of the "zombie" she had become. The story chronicles the repairation of their individual lives, their marriage, Sara's broken relationship with her children and their relationships with God.
My goal is to finish it and go in search of a publisher before the year is done. I just passed the black point where Sara discovers why she became so depressed and now must figure out where to go from there. Would be a lot easier if my grandkids didn't try to help so much! :)
Thanks for giving us a peek inside your story, Becky. I love the title.
Thanks Pat,
I had called it "A Second Chance" for lack of anything better when I started. The "Eggs" title came from their two year old and his ever present request for eggs in the morning. Somehow, it just fit. My granddaughter will eat eggs every morning for several weeks at a time before taking a break but her two year old brother won't touch them at my house. His favorite is PB&J and after about three days of either, grandma is going "ick," much like Sara does. Glad you stopped by, how is work going?
Thanks for sharing your story with us, Becky. I always enjoy second chance at love stories and, actually, I write quite a few of them.
Becky,
This is really good. You've managed to separate all the characters really well and bring them alive, yet keep them different and consistent.
Well done.
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