Single Woman Seeking... Or Not

When I went looking for a photo for today's blog, the one on the left caught my eye.  I really didn't have an idea of what I'd blog about, but having seen that single glass and heart, I now know.

After having been married for 24 years and now divorced for nearly half as many, I have the chance to look back as a single woman with a clearer view of what romance is.  Well, clearer than I did 40 or so years ago, that is. :)  What I see isn't bad, in spite of the title of this blog post.

I enjoyed reading Pat's list of 20 things that, for her, make a hero.  While reading Reese's list of romantic traits, I felt envy, and we won't even go into what Joan's roses evoked deep within me.  ;)  With that envy came a feeling of joy for them.

As Reese pointed out, it's the small things that make the difference.  Love is putting someone else's wants and desires--and comfort--ahead of your own.  Love is being happy that someone else is happy, even if whatever caused it isn't something you agree with or like.  Love is sharing the things you enjoy and the things the person you love cares about.  Love is giving someone space and time to be themselves, and then being there when needed, whether to wipe away a tear or to share joy.  Love is making another person happy, just by being you.

All of the above comes down to one, simple thing:  To love someone else, you must first love yourself.  And while a sense of humor sits at the top of my list of what makes a hero, I know, deep down, that those of us who write romance in this particular place in time are creating not only heroes in our stories, but the kind of women who love themselves first and find the type of hero who loves them, too.
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better. ~ William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night - Act 3, Scene 1
Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!! 


Joan Vincent said...

Shakespeare usually hit the nail on the head but then, so did you in this post,Rox. Your--"Love is putting someone else's wants and desires--and comfort--ahead of your own."--is such a big part of what love is. We can write reams about love and romance but it usually comes back to what's in that sentence and doing so without thinking.

Reese Mobley said...

Well said! We all know that life and love are a constant battle and if we don't work at making them better, they never will be.

You can't have a rose garden without a few thorns.

Melissa Robbins said...

"To love someone else, you must first love yourself." Hear, hear, Rox!!

One of the first things that attracted me to my husband was his sense of humor.

Rox Delaney said...

Melissa, a sense of humor is at the top of my list, too. I learned that the hard way.

Rox Delaney said...

Joan, it's much easier now to understand. Mistakes sometimes are the best teachers.

Rox Delaney said...

Reese, if we know where the thorns are, we can still have the rose.