November Blessings and Curses

First, I must say that belonging to WARA is one of the best blessings! Thank you, every member.

Second, where is the grammar person when I want to enumerate and don’t know whether to use a comma or a colon or a semi-colon after the number position or a hyphen in semicolon or what?


Third. Romance and almost all other novel writing is about family relationships. Like November. Many people feel holidays and family gatherings are like demon spawn gatherings from Hell. Someone’s going to lose an ear and another will be cursed for ingratitude, philandering, inattention, age, you name it. And that’s a mild gathering. Then there are those who will bring family and friends together and ignore them to fend for themselves until they feel like holiday wallpaper—necessary to look at but useless.

Forth, oh, you think I forgot romance? Nope! Think of every romance book or novel you’ve ever read. In each you will find a goal. Families thrive on goals—usually continuance ones. In romance, the entire bundle of needs that forces us out of ourselves and into the company of others is inherent in our need to be with another human and hopefully attempt some warm and welcome kanoodling.  Our need to be welcomed, accepted, petted, and thought well of by another human being. At the holidays we hope it is all of our loved ones. One on one, we need that from our special someone.  And like the holidays, the answer to that is unknown. Perhaps our family thinks we hung the moon and don't need to tell us. Maybe the person who we need thinks we know what is in their heart. Maybe we do, but there is nothing wrong with really liking to hear it again!

Fifth: like holiday mealtime, tensions can run high between the guy next to the gravy and the person with the potatoes. Can’t they SEE our NEED? Can’t the object of the sparkle of interest in our eye SEE our NEED? Is their head down, fork filled, interest in what they’re doing needing replaced by attending to our need? Our need to be seen and our need fulfilled? Is the object of our affection too immersed in something other than our needs? Perhaps they need a friendly tap—to get their attention—like we would someone circling the kitchen looking for the correct cupboard the water glasses are in.

So as we count our blessings this month, let us realize that for some, family meetings are fraught with the curse of having to be brought out of ourselves and in the public arena of human failings, our own and others.  Let us think about everyone and forgive them, and ourselves, for being human in this time of emotional trial.  Let us appreciate all of the story, curse or blessing, of our families as the pageant of life unfolds before our very eyes.

PS: There's nothing wrong with telling someone you'll love them more if they help with....


Becky A said...

Nina, you must have some interesting family dinners:)

Since my boys are both single now, I'm having dinner for the three of us. I've eaten out and eaten weird for the last four years. This year I'm determined to have a turkey dinner. One that tastes like it's supposed to. If that means I have to cook, so be it. I suspect I'll survive.

Have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving, my friend.